TECHNICAL TWADDLE

THE RIG

THE BLOKE AT LITCHFIELD

Hi there again. This is just a little special episode, so to speak, mainly for the fellas. I have noticed that when in caravan parks there are several subjects which seem to crop up again and again between the blokes. I thought that I would put in a special entry just for these subjects.
To refresh your minds, we are driving a 2006 Toyota Land Cruiser, 100 series, V8, petrol. Now I sense that most blokes have just reared back in horror – yes, petrol and boy is she thirsty!! TBBITW, who is sitting next to me at the moment and is my consultant for this edition, has just quoted “As any bloke knows, blokes just love to see their car take a good long drink”. This seems to be especially true of service station owners!! In answer to your next question, the consumption is roughly 4 ks to the litre. It might interest you to know that as he said that, the bloke seemed to be having trouble enunciating and was turning a rather alarming hue of purple! Yes, our beloved cruiser is a thirsty fella. Doug generally now drives by the rev counter, staying as much as possible on 2000rpm and not using Cruise Control. He finds that Cruise Control is not really good for towing and does not give the best fuel consumption. There have been many suggestions regarding having a gas tank/conversion done but the drama there is losing space as the spare tyre sits under the car and would have to then be put somewhere else. As we are on the road for the long term and carry so much ‘stuff’, space is at a premium.
The additions to the car since we left home are a pair of “Rock Tamers” which pretty much keep the stones off the van. They were purchased in WA and cost $430 – we have seen them much more expensive elsewhere. They are big brutish looking characters and have evoked quite a few enquiries. The other addition is air-bags – purpose being to more evenly distribute the weight and level the car while towing. Doug is very pleased with the result on that one. We have also added an auxiliary battery from which to run the fridges. This also works well. Apart from being a bit of a ‘guzzler’ we have had no problems at all with the car (apart from bogging it once – not the fault of the car!)
One of the most frequently discussed areas is air pressure, both in the vehicle and the van – after considerable reading and research, Doug has settled on 36 in the front and 38 at the back in the car and in the van 50. We have a slow leak in one of the van tyres and we were fortunate enough to have a wonderful young fella ‘plug’ it for us. That was a couple of months ago and it has held up well since then. The tyre still leaks but super slowly – we will have it fixed in Darwin and ‘we’ will be looking to buy one of those them there ‘repair plug kits’.
The van has a couple of maintenance problems now – the first one was the ‘Smart Charger’ which charges up the 12 volt in the van – Doug discovered one morning that this was ‘smoking’ and we quickly removed it and replaced it with a different model. We were alarmed that it appeared the charger could have caught fire (it had not had a lot of use) and that would have been a disaster with the flammable stuff in the boot of the van, not to mention the gas bottle near-by.
One of the main topics of conversation in the van parks is the weight of the van (dry and full) and the certification on the van. Most are certified to carry 400ks and it is generally agreed that this is not enough, especially if you are carrying water. The chasse on our van is very strong and would easily carry more. We have heard of some people convincing their manufacturers to increase the load stated on the specification plate on the van – we have not been so fortunate.
As stated in my last blog, one of our hatches blew off this week and we now have to have that replaced. We had the sound system blow up in an electrical storm in WA. The loo leaks water sometimes, (caused by excessive water pressure). We have bent the radio aerial, but it seems still to be functional. The washing machine is non operational, we think due to a crack in the lid. On a lighter note, we have blown up two kettles (sort of) due largely to the high calcium content in the water in SA and NT. We now soak them with white vinegar frequently to avoid this happening. I tried to kill the microwave by turning it on for some 15 mins without anything in it.. The decorative covers on the hinge for the TV have been removed due to severe annoyance. I have almost given up trying to keep the floor in the van clean due to the very large and dirty feet of a certain person. Doug, due to his height and some sort of brain fade, has now a very bumpy and lumpy head indeed, due to the incalculably numerous times he has hit his head on the air-con and the cupboards. The toilet roll holder has fallen off one too many times and now remains in the cupboard where it will probably see out it’s less than useful life. We now use our own home made stuff in the loo canister – we probably will not continue to do this, as I think the home made stuff smells worse that the urine – so probably back to the drawing board on that one. The car has been emptied and re-stacked 3 times now and it is still pretty much impossible to find anything. Read ditto for the boot and tunnel in the van. The golf clubs have not seen the light of day since we left home. I am not any fitter, but definitely much fatter for going up and down the steps into the caravan. The inside of the van has also been ‘gone thru’ at least half a dozen times and we still have no space left and everything is still jam packed. We have two modems for our laptops – one Telstra and one Optus. Doug’s mobile is Telstra while mine is Optus. Optus has been next to useless as the places where we have service are too few to mention. Telstra on the other hand, despite being just about the most annoying company in the world to deal with, has service almost everywhere. We have been very impressed with number of places where we have had TV reception and the number of channels available – no doubt about to change now with the launch of wide-spread digital. We have learnt to live together in very small quarters indeed without actually throttling each other (not that we both haven’t felt the need once or twice!).
Oh, we have cameras. One on the back of the Cruiser and one on the back of the van. Both are invaluable. The one on the car is brilliant when we are hitching up. We have a Treg (I think that is right) hitch – sorry if I blunder here, my consultant, despite my dire warnings not to, is now pushing up snores from the bed – much to the astonishment of our 4 footed guests!. Yours truly backs the car onto the hitch and as you may appreciate due to the size of the van and the type of hitch, I have to have it precisely right. The camera is a huge boon in this area. The reason I do it incidentally, is not that I am so good, but rather that Doug is far more patient than me. Also, he has to adjust the height of the van as I back towards the hitch – much easier for him to do than me. The only problem is that the camera, whilst giving a really good view of just where I need to be, does distort distance and I always seem much further away than I actually am. Pretty much the same as the caravan mirrors we all attach to our vehicles when towing – aren’t they a bugger for distance? Looks like that road train is a million miles away when in fact, he is actually trying to have sex with the van!!
The same applies to the camera on the back of the van – it does warn you about the road-train approaching, but it belies the distance somewhat. We also use walkie-talkies. Just short range hand held jobs. We have our main one on Ch 18 and also carry one on Ch 40 – this covers us pretty well and we find them quite handy. They are also a help when manoeuvring the van into caravan bays. Even tho’ him indoors has a bit of trouble hearing me on the 2-way, it is better than shouting. We seem to have the manoeuvring thing down pretty well now and we haven’t had a DA about this yet.
What else to you want to know? Beer and wine consumption has fluctuated, market has gone down, amazement at political affairs has gone up, weight has gone up, fitness levels are down, food consumption has fluctuated dependant on the mood of the cook, petrol prices have fluctuated but generally have been on the increase, wind expulsion has decreased thanks to a course of pills purchased by the ‘girl’, moods have fluctuated dependant on all the above.
Well as the snores are continuing to emanate from the bed and thus my ‘consultant’ has left me to it, I cannot think of anything else you blokes might find interesting – so I will leave it at that, with a Good –day from me and a Good-night from him.

LEGENDARY LITCHFIELD

Looking down on the canopy at Florence Falls

Fun in the rapids at Florence Falls

Reflections in the swamp!

Cascading waters at Florence Falls

Twin Lace Curtains at Florence Falls

Hi there guys and gals, this time you find us in Berry Springs. We left Katherine and travelled at first to Batchelor. From Batchelor we drove into Litchfield National Park and looked at the beautiful waterfalls. Whilst in Batchelor we stayed at the Big 4 Caravan Park. We only stayed 3 days in Batchelor and that was really enough time in which to see the main features of Litchfield. After leaving Batchelor we made a short journey across to Berry Springs. The idea being that whatever we hadn’t seen of Litchfield from the Batchelor end, we could see from the Berry Springs end. Not a bad way to go as it turns out.
Batchelor itself was a nice little spot – quiet and shady. We were told that trouble sometimes wanders into town, but leaves pretty quickly. Certainly we didn’t see or hear anything adverse while we were there. The caravan park (more details at the conclusion of this blog) was also very quiet – it boasts one of the coldest swimming pools I have ever sploshed into – but I have to say, it was a welcome refresher, especially after the usual unhitching and unpacking!
Litchfield certainly lived up to all expectations. The waterfalls are absolutely spectacular and the surrounding country exceptionally beautiful. Lush tropical bush surrounds all the waterfalls and picturesque yet rugged land abuts each of the main features. I still cannot get used to the sight of palms, cycads and gums all growing in happy profusion together – for a ‘southerner’ it is quite a spectacle. We seem to have left behind the brilliant colours of the red centre and swapped them for some of the ‘greenest greens I’ve ever seen’ to quote an old song. The Territory applies a burning off policy which sees at this time of the year, manifold little fires which keep the undergrowth at bay. Due to the still available moisture in the soil, the grass grows back almost immediately and it is the brightest hue of green imaginable. The cycads too, in some parts are vivid in their colouration. We have tried to capture the colours on camera, but really so far, have not done them justice. Instead of the red, red rocks of the interior, the rock formations here seem to be more grey, and the effect of the rocky outcrops fringed with bright green in reminiscent of some ancient ruins being re-claimed by nature. The whole of Litchfield National Park appears to consist of a very large range of often rugged hills, some quite round and conical and others baring grey fangs to the sky. The area is quite heavily forested by an astounding range of trees and undergrowth.
Berry Springs is also a pretty area, although we really had pretty much exhausted the sight-seeing while we were at Batchelor. From Berry Springs we drove out to re-acquaint ourselves with the ocean – except this time it is the Arafura Sea. We drove to a little place called Mandorah Bay – this is where a ferry from Darwin calls to take folk to work and over to the ‘big smoke’ for shopping etc. The ferry service appears to be a good one and the ferry leaves pretty much every half hour at peak times and hourly the remainder of the time. Peak times seem to be early morning, late afternoon and lunch time. It appears it is a popular trip from Darwin over to the pub there for lunch. The pub was something else! The signage to get into the place was abysmal and we had all sorts of trouble finding the ferry wharf and the pub (despite being warned about this). We drove aimlessly around Mandorah for a while before finding a local who give us some good directions. When we arrived finally at our destination (the pub of course), we wandered around to the counter to order a couple of drinks and a counter lunch. We were confronted by a sign which declared the hotel to be “The Hotel With No Hot Chips” – this was followed by a sign which said “Under No Circumstances Will We Serve Hot Chips” – this was underscored by another declaration “Australia Does Not Need Any More Hot Chips!!” – well, we had the message by then, but TBBITW was very tempted nevertheless to go up and order chips! It seems from chatting to other folk, many do ask for chips, just to test the mettle of the staff so to speak, and we are told that the staff are none too friendly about the subject. Despite all the dire warnings, we did manage to order a quite acceptable couple of ‘barra burgers’ which we enjoyed with a leisurely drink while looking over the bay to my first view of Darwin. It was interesting to see the jetty where the ferry docks – it had at least 3 different levels to cater for the huge tides in this part of the world. The pub apparently does a good trade on weekends when a younger crew travel over in the ferry for a good time and then head back home again via the water. The last ferry, from memory leaves at around 12.30 on a Saturday night. Just in time to get back for the nightclubs I guess.
Whilst at Berry Springs we visited the Territory Wild Life Park. We were a little daunted to find that entry into the park was $25 each, but at the end of the day, agreed that the fee was reasonable and money well spent. The park only has native creatures and is very well done indeed. If you are so inclined you can walk the considerable area of the park, but most people utilise the very good ‘train’ service within the park. The train is geared to get you to each of the main events at just the right time. Main events include a ‘raptor display and talk’ and a ‘sand-bank’ experience. The sand-bank experience was excellent, involving the feeding of barramundi, archer fish (that was a good laugh) and whip-rays. I had never heard of whip-rays before and certainly was not aware that we have fresh water rays in Australia. Other features include a very good aquarium and a wonderful monsoon forest walk which includes a walk-thru aviary. The park boasts quite a passable cafeteria and a whole day could be spent there very easily. We were probably there for around 5 hours, and I wouldn’t recommend planning to be there less than 4 hours in order to see the main features. The only down side to the Wild Life Park was that “we” forgot the camera so no pics I’m sorry. Probably just as well, as I notice going back over our photos, the ones of critters in captivity just don’t seem to cut it anyway.
Poor old Jezabelle (the van) suffered an injury while we were at the Wild Life Park. When we returned to the van, we discovered one of our skylights leaning up against the van with very large chunks bitten out of it. As was (note was) our habit, we had gone out leaving tall the hatches wide open to air the van – NOT a good idea. It was not at all a windy day, but it seems that a random puff of wind grabbed the hatch and hurled it to the ground where it cart-wheeled across the road much to the amazement of those around us. This is when TBBITW comes into his own, he is such a clever bloke! He managed to sufficiently repair the hatch for us to get into Darwin. We most likely could go further if we had to, but we are hoping that we can get the replacement part sent to us in Darwin and effect proper repairs there. My washing machine has also stopped working and the bloke reckons that the lid is the problem. We need to replace that as well when we are in town. I must say I really miss my machine and never feel that the clothes are really clean when I use the park machines.
From a personal perspective, it is interesting to note how we are travelling at this time. When we were looking at the sensational water-falls at Litchfield, I felt there was something lacking in our response to all the majesty of the place – it really should have been another WOW moment, and yet we both seemed a little flat. We have concluded that we are just about all WOWED out and need to veg for a little while. When you constantly encounter stunningly beautiful sites, you become a little desensitised. I know for those of you currently stuck in a work- a -day world, that must sound awfully spoilt, but it really is true – in fact, I was beginning to feel that we were under an obligation to see everything and so it was beginning to feel a little like getting up and going to work!
We have quite a few little tasks to take care of in Darwin when we arrive there at the end of this week, and of course a little retail therapy is also in order, including a much needed visit to the hairdressers. I just wish I could include in our itinerary, a visit to a nice Doctor who would suck out all my accumulated fat as well – perhaps then I would feel a little more feminine again. Once we have accomplished all our tasks we will be off to Kakadu and Jabiru to have a look see there and then we plan to find somewhere to just sit for around 4 weeks – just to regain our equilibrium and to live a pseudo normal life for a little while. Currently we have been in Berry Springs for 6 days and it feels like 6 minutes.
We have once again met some lovely folk here and are today ‘puppy-sitting’ a couple of toy poodles while their humans go into town to do some chores. They are a couple of little darlings and have taken up residence amongst our manifold cushions and pillows (fresh pillow-slips today too!) at the end of the bed where they can watch for the return of their much loved mum and dad. It’s lovely to have the company of a couple of four footed little ladies for a couple of hours.
Well, time for me to wrap this one up, I will finish with the usual caravan park write up. I will also be putting up a special blog just for the blokes, with all the little things in it that you fellas talk about around the caravan parks, more technical than we girls generally want to know about. Love to all for now, and looking forward to talking to you again soon. Laugh, love and be happy – Steph.

Caravan Parks:
· Batchelor – we stayed at the Big 4 Caravillage in Batchellor. Big spacious park with plenty of good sized easy to access sites. When you check in they send you around to the far side of the camp to await further instructions. Be wary of the bend on the far corner of the camp – it is raised above the ground and there is a nasty drop off on the passenger side of the van – a trap for the unwary! Once you are in the appointed position someone will come and help you to choose a bay. Most are well shaded with palms and many have concrete slabs – the remainder are grassed. Amenities block is very good, although they do not have liquid soap. The pool is possibly the coldest in the region, but clean and well maintained. Not dog friendly.
· Berry Springs – we stayed at the Tumbling Waters Caravan Park – this park is picturesque with beautiful big rambling old gardens and a very tropical feel. The bays are a little tight to access and the amenities are less than wonderful. The pool is salt and was full of children when we were here (school hols) and as a result was a little too milky for my liking. Despite this, the park is lovely and we would be happy to come back again. They show a movie on Sat and Wed evenings and there are didgeridoo lessons on Sat night. The park boasts several fresh water crocs and they feed these on Sat night. This park is dog friendly.

KALEIDOSCOPIC KATHERINE

Serenity at the Cycad Gardens

The Manifold Colours of the Gorge

A Perfect Place for the Mother Freshwater Crocodile to Lay Her Eggs

What Lies Around the Corner?

Who Lives in the Cave?

Hi there everyone, I know you must all be heartily sick of hearing from me, so I will keep this one short. As we are travelling pretty quickly at the moment, you are getting inundated with these blogs I know. It is probably not going to get any better in the short term as we have 3 stops to make within the next 11 days – so hold on to your hats.
Well what can I tell you about Katherine, it is of course lovely. There is not a huge amount to see here, it is really all about the Gorges. There are numerous boat trips to choose from if you wish to see the gorges that way. We did, and we chose a Breakfast Cruise. Great choice! The only real downside is that you have to make your own way to the mooring at around 6.15 in the morning. This means dodging wallabies all the way along the 30 min drive. It was a little nerve-wracking. When we arrived at the park, we were greeted by the early morning shrieking of the colony of fruit bats that were ‘just hanging around’ the place. It was my first fruit bat encounter – they are cute looking critters, but boy, what a racket – I can see why people get upset when they decide to make themselves at home. They do say that they stink, I have to say I couldn’t really pick up any unpleasant odour, but they may have only just arrived at that place.
Without much ado, we boarded the boat that was to take us up the Gorge. As we were seated large hot platters of food appeared before us. Chipolatas, scrambled eggs, baked eggplant and tomato sliced, baked stuffed capsicums, grilled tomatoes, bacon, mushrooms and baked beans. We were invited to help ourselves to fruit juice, tea, coffee and hot croissants. It was quite nippy, so the food didn’t stay particularly warm, but all in all, it was quite good. The view from the breakfast table was incomparable as we floated slowly into the gorge against the rising sun. Perhaps later in the day the colours on the walls of the gorge would have been more startling, but for us they were muted and beautiful. There is not a lot I can tell you about the cruise, instead I will let the photos do the talking for me. I think I have just about run out of superlatives to describe this country. The cruise took 2 hours and involved some moderate walking as we left one boat and the first gorge behind and moved into the second boat and gorge.
The only jarring note during the trip down the Gorge was the company we kept. A very nice and fit looking older couple shared our table. They had been working at one of the caravan parks in Mataranka for some 12 months. That was fine and admirable, until he mentioned how he used to catch and kill the little wallabies to stop them from eating the grass at the camp. They were not wasted he assured us, as he gave them to the local indigenous people for food. Very wonderful I am sure, for the people who ate the wallabies, but for us, as we had been encouraged to befriend them in one of the opposition parks, it was somewhat devastating. Many of the wallabies at the Homestead where we had stayed had been hand reared and I now fear for them. I know of course, that they are a normal and natural food for the locals, but I didn’t really need to hear that particular story over the breakfast table. I don’t mean to ‘cast nasturtiums’ all over our fellow diners, as they were only doing what they were paid to do, but...................................!
Later that same day, I left TBBITW to have a little lay down and I headed off to explore the beautiful Cycad Gardens just down the road from where we are staying. A unique garden, displaying a myriad of different cycads and succulents, all planted amongst huge boulders on a five acre property. The place was very maze-like and I managed to get myself lost a couple of times. I was encouraged by one of the people who work there “To take advantage of some of the seats provided and sit quietly and absorb the peace and tranquillity of the place” I did just this, and was rewarded by a family of local warblers coming down to investigate me as I rested in a shady little nook. The experience was delightful.
I arrived back in camp just in time to receive a phone call from some very old friends who wanted to catch up for lunch. Just what we needed after a big brekky! Needless to say, we were keen to catch up, so we went back to Cycad Gardens where they have an excellent eatery, and consumed Barra and Chips over an animated ‘catch up’. We agreed to meet again the next night for dinner and went back to the caravan to collapse in a very very full state indeed.
We caught up on our grocery shopping at the local Woollies and were super impressed by the locals. The indigenous population here is wonderful – well dressed, healthy looking and happy. It was lovely to see family groups at the check-out laughing and joking amongst themselves, particularly the dads. They really seem a happy mob up here. As a matter of fact, that pretty much applies to most of the Territorians we have encountered so far – this does seem to be a happy place in which to live. Perhaps it is the apparently relatively stress-less lifestyle here.
We probably didn’t do enough sight-seeing in Katherine, we have reached a stage where we are a little ‘gorged and rocked out’. It sounds very spoilt of us, but we have spoken to many other travellers who also get this way from time to time. On the coast it was the same, after a while, it is the “Not another Bay” syndrome instead.
We did have a BBQ with our old mates the following night, and it was really good to have a catch up like that on the road. It is interesting to note that so many of our fellow retirees are now travelling the country. We have at least another 4 couples who we plan to meet up with in various different spots. The number of vans travelling the roads completely staggers us – we are quite sure that Darwin must be absolutely chock-a-block as that is the intended destination of so many of our ‘silver’ mates.
Well guys, I guess that is not so short after all – I am sorry, but I don’t want to short change any of these wonderful destinations.
Caravan Park – we are staying at the Shady Lane Caravan Park, a member of the Top Tourist Group. We chose it because it was slightly (6ks) out of town and on the way to the Gorge. The park is full of enormous trees, has large grassed sites with concrete pads and the amenities are excellent. Sadly it is not dog friendly tho’. All in all an excellent park, if not a little sterile, and well recommended by the two of us. Steph.

Alice to Mataranka

Pink Panther enjoying an ale!

Great Property For Sale Coplete with Heli-pad

Devil' Marbles

Is he Lost?

An Alien Place!! Ivy's Water Hole.

Hi again, just had to do a little backtracking, as I had not yet told you about the trip from Alice to Mataranka. The trip was eventful and picturesque. I still cannot get over the often encountered attitude that the centre of this country is boring – I am still in awe of the beauty and majesty.
The first stop we made was a brief one to check out the Devil’s Marbles – this is an area just covered in large roundish boulders, most of which seem to be perched precariously on top of each other. There is a very good ‘free-camp’ at the Marbles and as we arrived there early in the morning we could see that many people had taken advantage of the overnight stop. The marbles are spectacular and I have included a photo for you to have a gander at.
That night we stopped at Wycliffe Wells – this place is well known for its UFO interest. The previous owner was fascinated with all things alien and has an alien theme running through the whole camp, from ‘Green Hulk’ replicas to space-craft complete with aliens. Unless you are particularly interested in the subject, TBBITW tells me it is not a good idea to get involved in a discussion on the subject with the ladies there, unless you are prepared to spend quite some time talking!! Due to the theme, the roadhouse is quite an interesting place to stop. In addition to the theme, there are expansive green grassed areas, lots of benches with seats on which to spend a pleasant hour or so, two really large water holes, lots of birds (including some rather sorry looking characters in cages), a small train/railway line and a large separate restaurant. We took a fairly extensive walk around the place and could see that the new owners have quite a lot of hard work to do in order to bring the place up to its full potential – needless to say, in the meantime it is a good spot to stay the night.
We did have a really nice meal there, albeit with some unexpected entertainment thrown in. As we had seated ourselves at the table, we heard a slight commotion at the front door of the licensed premises. Lots of high pitched giggling and chortling. “Ah!” the owner cried, “Every publican’s favourite customer!” – the favourite customer then sidled into view with a very wobbly gait, an aboriginal lady by the name of Ivy. It appeared that mine host was in the habit of providing Ivy with a nightly tinny and Ivy had appeared to claim her daily prize. Brandishing a plastic card she offered to leave the card for surety with the landlord. He obviously knew that the card was of little value and declined her gracious offer. She was however, hell-bent on giving him the card and was assuring him, that it would be good, come Tuesday. Understandably the host was sceptical on this point as it actually was Tuesday night! Ivy was not to be deterred however and I think I may have seen that card finally disappear across the counter at some stage. Having acquired her Tinny, Ivy became incredibly grateful and rushed up to mine host and threw her skinny arms around him in blissful embrace – this was obviously not a new experience to our erstwhile host. He braced himself for the onslaught and took it all in quite good grace, Ivy all the while professing her love for our mate. The good humour did falter just a little as Ivy seemed intent on placing a very amorous kiss on his very, by now, elusive lips – “Ivy, please, please don’t kiss me!” he begged plaintively. Ivy by now had become a little distracted and proclaimed in very positive tones that it was her birthday. “Ivy, it is not your birthday” he responded, “Yes, yes, yes it is!” was the adamant reply – Ivy obviously pushing for a better birthday pressie than just one tinny. We were very impressed by the wonderful attitude of both parties who obviously did hold each other in some warm regard. At this time, a couple wandered into the cafe to order a meal. They were Silver Nomads and I think the Silver was spelled with a capital S in this instance. The lady, a diminutive little soul, was saucer-eyed at the carrying on in the bar and to make her feel a little more comfortable TBBITW invited them to join us for a meal. They accepted with alacrity. I must make a confession here, my wonderful and considerate fellow, does quite frequently invite people to join us for a meal – I have to say I am not always thrilled. My darling man doesn’t wait to find out what sort of people they are and is I have to say, not always a good judge. It’s not that these people are in any way disreputable, it is me that is disreputable, and these ladies, most of whom never seem to have seen the workplace and who have stayed at home on the farm baking and raising wonderful children are just so prim and proper. The end result is as the old saying goes “they wouldn’t say shit for sugar” and I am uncomfortable feeling very gauche indeed in front of our new-found friends. On the up side tho, we do meet some wonderful people this way and certainly, this particular evening would not have been nearly so entertaining, had we not had their company.
This particular lady was indeed one of the aforesaid prim types and as such, I could see, quite shocked by the carrying on of Ivy, who really was a lovely if somewhat inebriated lady. Our dinner guests took a seat at the table and the husband asked his wife if she would like a drink, she decided (with some eagerness I thought) that she would have a glass of Chardonnay. Hubby duly went off to fetch her drink and came back at some length with a bottle – it appeared they didn’t sell wine by the glass. I must say, she didn’t look too upset at this news. All was not well however, as when hubby went to pour the wine, it was discovered that the bottle still held a cork. Hubby did the obvious and took the bottle back to the bar to be opened – problem!! They did not have a good corkscrew. Yes, really – no decent corkscrew – they did attempt to open the bottle and managed to push the cork down into the bottle a little, but not far enough to enable the wine to flow. I did not at any time hear any offer to refund the money, and come to think of it, the diminutive lady opposite me, did not at any time suggest that they return the bottle – I think she may have been thirsty!! Hubby was by now re-seated at the table with the problem bottle, still trying to dislodge the stubborn cork, when from the kitchen rushed the ‘Chinese Cook’ – yes, there really was a Chinese Cook – a very large muscular fellow he was as well. He moved purposefully towards the table brandishing in his hand a plastic chop-stick, before anyone really realised what he had in mind, he very manfully grabbed the offending bottle from hubby’s hand and plunged the chop-stick down into the bottle with all his considerable might..................Well, the resultant spout of wine that shot upwards with equal might was spectacular indeed – much of the wine in the bottle had ended up all over, the up until now, patient hubby! Needless to say, his patience did seem to be in danger of running out at this stage. Not happy at all chaps. Never the less, once the steam stopped coming from the top of his head, he and his wife settled down to enjoy what was left of their bottle and their meal. I must say too, in defence of that Chinese Cook, the meal was indeed excellent. We both had Barra and Chips, the meal that has replaced the Schnitzels of SA. It seems that Barra and Chips is the dish of the NT. We are not complaining!
During the night, we did hear Ivy and her mates celebrating around the most distance water hole, but the noise was distant and we did not feel threatened in any way. All in all, we would recommend Wycliffe Wells as a good place to break over night. There is only one caravan park there and it offers both power and water.
From Wycliffe Wells we took a really long drive (for us) and headed on to Daly Waters. We did intend to stay at the famous Daly Waters pub, but we just didn’t have the stamina to reach quite that far that night. We had been told that to obtain a powered site you need to be there by around lunch time, we would have arrived at 4.30 so we just didn’t bother. We were both very tired that night too, and felt that the place would have been wasted on us. Instead we stayed at Highway One at Daly Waters. This was a nice quiet little camp, behind the motel there. The owner is obviously trying to increase his quota of travellers and offers a free beer and wine on arrival. It says something about how tired we were that night as we didn’t even bother to ‘cash in’ our vouchers, preferring instead to drape ourselves heavily over our outdoor chairs and listlessly watch the cow in the paddock opposite. We didn’t waste the vouchers however, and passed them on to another fella who was staying a little longer. As we watched the cow, we had our first glimpse of the pretty little wallabies who live in this region. They all came in at sundown to share the grass with the bovine creature who grazes there. The place also boasted a couple of horses and some pigs (who could be smelled from time to time as the wind wafted from their sty). Loads of Apostle Birds flitted around in the trees which were plentiful in the park. The park offered good powered sites with water and is, once again, a good overnight stop.
We only had a short distance to travel the next day so we took our time packing up in the morning. We headed on to Daly Waters Pub, planning to stop there for the day and enjoy the night’s entertainment, but Mataranka beckoned and we just couldn’t see what we would do with ourselves there for a whole day. We did have a good look around tho’ and could easily see what a great night it would be there. The place is character plus, and incorporates a huge semi outdoor area where they have the “beef and barra” BBQ and nightly entertainment. The entertainment consists of “The Chook Man” a constant resident, and any passing performers, of which we are told, there are many and varied. The Chook Man is a comedian who runs his banter and singing with his faithful hen on his head! When we were there, he was out the front of his humpy selling ‘stuff’. His home really was just a humpy, and on its roof was an ancient helicopter. Next to the humpy was an equally ancient bus. He had a “For Sale” sign up and claimed that the place had its own Helipad and was close to both hotel and transport. Obviously a real character.
We ruefully left Daly Waters Pub and moved on to Larrimah where they have the Pink Panther Pub – very similar establishment again and chocker block full of character (and characters). The Pink Panther boasts a free Zoo. We took time out to have a good wander around and the cages there held mainly birds, all in very good health and in huge enclosures. They also had a couple of wallabies and some rather large looking pythons. Down the back was a crock and a large cage of rats. I was advised not to become attached to the rats as their sole purpose in life was to sustain the snakes! Hmm. I stopped to ask a pretty Rainbow Lorikeet in a smaller cage right next to the saloon why he was so special to have his cage there, I was overheard by a lady with a weathered, leather face, inevitable ciggie dangling from thin lips and was shortly advised that he was there “cause he was bloody special, that’s why” ...........I accepted this very gracious advice and moved right along.
From Larrimah we took a very leisurely drive into Mataranka and you already know what a fantastic place we found that to be. Steph.

Sorry! That just proves I should never do these things from memory, Wycliffe Wells is actually before the Devil's Marbles - oops!!

Turtles rising to the light

Our favourite guests - mum was only around knee high.

Pet barramundi - TBBITW was all for a taste test!

Waterhouse River - just down from the Thermal Springs

Our favourite playground - crystal clear and 34 degrees mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

MAGICAL NEVER NEVER LAND

Hello again, well, every time I think it can’t get any better, it does! We are currently in Mataranka and it is truly magical. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the place, Mataranka is just over 100ks south of Katherine in the NT. This is where the old classic “We of the Never Never” was based. As we chose the Homestead Caravan Park and Resort to stay at, we were given the whole story of the book and subsequent movie. The mock up of the old homestead is here at the park and daily they run the movie and give a talk on the ‘early days’. All of that is wonderful of course, but the real magic is in the place itself. I know I cannot possibly do it justice, but I will try to describe it for you.
As we travelled closer to Mataranka, the bush became thicker and greener, and as we entered the last 10ks or so, palm trees started to appear amongst the ghost gums. The soil of course, is still the rich dark red of the region, so the white of the ghost gums and the exotic foliage of the palm trees is an unusual spectacle to say the least. Coming thru’ the gates into the resort itself is like entering into another world – suddenly everything looks tropical, great towering palm trees are just everywhere and the bush is thick and lush. The caravan park/resort borders the National Park and it a mere 100m stroll down to the wonderful thermal springs. The water bubbles up out of the ground at around 30m litres per day. As a result of the sheer quantity the water is crystal clear and the pool that it feeds into settles at a delightful 34 degrees. As this was used as Officers Quarters for a base here during the Second World War, the pond itself has been nicely reinforced so access is just a doddle and anyone (even me) can access the thermal pool and delight in this relaxing activity. It is an unusual sight when we meander down late afternoon for our daily soak, to stand in that pool seeing only the heads of those folk likewise enjoying a soak. We all resemble some strange bodiless creatures. The pool is a great place to chat and a great deal of interesting stories are exchanged there. Of course in true caravan style, much of the conversation flows around “Which way are you headed?”, “Where have you been & where did you stay there?”, “What are you driving & what sort of consumption are you getting?” etc, etc. I think you get the picture. Needless to say, these conversations are generally conducted by the menfolk while we girls go cross-eyed trying to look as if we cared!! That of course is a little unfair, we do meet some lovely folk that way and get to hear some really interesting, if not dubious, stories.
The winter weather here must be just about the best on the planet. Nights get down to somewhere around 18 degrees while the days climb up to a delightful 28 or so. There is practically no wind, just a gentle zephyr during the afternoons, and hardly any bugs. The occasional fly buzzes around in the late afternoon, and after spending 8 days and nights here, I am yet to spot a mozzie.
The flora and fauna is amazing – flocks of Apostle Birds come in with their antics foraging and begging for tucker, blue faced honey-eaters hop around looking for tucker and Great Bower Birds dash in and out trying to outdo all the others. In addition to that, there are a bunch of colourful peacocks here, who despite not being natives, are a colourful, if not pushy addition to the general atmosphere. Almost constantly overhead are wheeling Kites, both Black and Whistling types, Sulphur Crested Cockatoos break the morning silence and brightly coloured Rainbow Lorikeets fly overhead. The local Kookaburra is the Blue Winged variety and is an unusual critter indeed. Their call is not like the ones we are accustomed to at home, instead shout maniacally to each other from the tree tops. They also fight, locking beaks and spiralling down to earth like big ceiling fans – I thought a couple were going to land on TBBITW’s head yesterday morning.
I think my favourite visitor here tho’ are the beautiful little Wallabies that hop in looking for food. Some of these have been hand-reared by the people here, and others are just cheeky wild ones. One little girl, who was hand reared, is just so cheeky, she will come up and place one tiny little paw on your lap while grabbing your hand with the other paw to try and wrest your food away from you. I had quite a battle with her the other day as she was determined to get into a cardboard box I had with me. In the evenings we are visited by a mum and Joey – just the most beautiful picture, mum sits and looks at us, and below (like a little mini-me) the Joey gazes at us from her pouch. We were told that they love carrots and tomatoes and we now have a special stock on hand for our visitors.
Evenings here are so balmy, we are able to sit outdoors gazing into the camp-fire. I have to say the idea of a fire is purely for visual enjoyment, as there is no way it is cold enough to need the warmth. Needless to say, the sky at night is the blackest velvet and the stars are just the brightest I have ever seen. Due to the extreme clarity of the air, the shooting stars are wonderfully visible and it is a wonderful spectacle just sitting out, nursing a glass of something nice and admiring the show.
Another favourite pastime in the evenings is taking a big strong torch down to the river, below the thermal pool and looking for Freshwater Crocodiles – we have seen one only, but we are told there are a few down there, one of which is quite a good size. When you shine your torch on the water big turtles the size of dinner plates swim to the surface to inspect the light. Quite amazing to watch. The only downside to this activity is that we have heard reports of people sighting some rather large Brown Snakes whilst walking down the track at night.
There is live music (Country and Western) here every night, a good little cafe during the day time and a restaurant at night. All in all, a delightful stop. I guess the fact that we came for 2 days and have extended to 9 says it all. I was lucky enough too, to celebrate a rather large birthday here, and I can honestly say I cannot imagine a nicer place in which to turn................!
There is so much more I could tell you, but I know I go on, and on, and on, etc. so I will call it quits now. We leave here on Saturday and head for Katherine. Stay well and celebrate life – Stephanie
MATARANKA HOMESTEAD CARAVAN PARK & RESORT
Well, I would be fibbing if I said it was a wonderful caravan park, the amenities are fairly ordinary and the water pressure is almost nonexistent thanks to a bad lime problem with the water/pipes. The sites are all dirt, as this place floods every summer and the grass/topsoil just keeps getting washed away. There is a discount if you stay 6 days, the 7th day is free. There is also a petrol discount for the local United Petrol Station (remember to ask for it!). These things are not explained when you book in, so you need to talk to them about it. On the up side, this is the closest park to the thermal pools and the wildlife here is exceptional – no pets tho’. Our personal experience has been wonderful and despite the negatives we strongly recommend the park.

MAGICAL NEVER NEVER LAND

Hello again, well, every time I think it can’t get any better, it does! We are currently in Mataranka and it is truly magical. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the place, Mataranka is just over 100ks south of Katherine in the NT. This is where the old classic “We of the Never Never” was based. As we chose the Homestead Caravan Park and Resort to stay at, we were given the whole story of the book and subsequent movie. The mock up of the old homestead is here at the park and daily they run the movie and give a talk on the ‘early days’. All of that is wonderful of course, but the real magic is in the place itself. I know I cannot possibly do it justice, but I will try to describe it for you.
As we travelled closer to Mataranka, the bush became thicker and greener, and as we entered the last 10ks or so, palm trees started to appear amongst the ghost gums. The soil of course, is still the rich dark red of the region, so the white of the ghost gums and the exotic foliage of the palm trees is an unusual spectacle to say the least. Coming thru’ the gates into the resort itself is like entering into another world – suddenly everything looks tropical, great towering palm trees are just everywhere and the bush is thick and lush. The caravan park/resort borders the National Park and it a mere 100m stroll down to the wonderful thermal springs. The water bubbles up out of the ground at around 30m litres per day. As a result of the sheer quantity the water is crystal clear and the pool that it feeds into settles at a delightful 34 degrees. As Mataranka housed Officers Quarters for a military base here during the Second World War, the pond itself has been nicely reinforced so access is just a doddle and anyone (even me) can cimb down into the thermal pool and delight in this relaxing activity. It is an unusual sight when we meander down late afternoon for our daily soak, to stand in that pool seeing only the heads of those folk likewise enjoying a soak. We all resemble some strange bodiless creatures. The pool is a great place to chat and a great deal of interesting stories are exchanged there. Of course in true caravan style, much of the conversation flows around “Which way are you headed?”, “Where have you been & where did you stay there?”, “What are you driving & what sort of consumption are you getting?” etc, etc. I think you get the picture. Needless to say, these conversations are generally conducted by the menfolk while we girls go cross-eyed trying to look as if we cared!! That of course is a little unfair, we do meet some lovely folk that way and get to hear some really interesting, if not dubious, stories.
The winter weather here must be just about the best on the planet. Nights get down to somewhere around 18 degrees while the days climb up to a delightful 28 or so. There is practically no wind, just a gentle zephyr during the afternoons, and hardly any bugs. The occasional fly buzzes around in the late afternoon, and after spending 8 days and nights here, I am yet to spot a mozzie.
The flora and fauna is amazing – flocks of Apostle Birds come in with their antics foraging and begging for tucker, blue faced honey-eaters hop around looking for tucker and Great Bower Birds dash in and out trying to outdo all the others. In addition to that, there are a bunch of colourful peacocks here, who despite not being natives, are a colourful, if not pushy addition to the general atmosphere. Almost constantly overhead are wheeling Kites, both Black and Whistling types, Sulphur Crested Cockatoos break the morning silence and brightly coloured Rainbow Lorikeets fly overhead. The local Kookaburra is the Blue Winged variety and is an unusual critter indeed. Their call is not like the ones we are accustomed to at home, instead shout maniacally to each other from the tree tops. They also fight, locking beaks and spiralling down to earth like big ceiling fans – I thought a couple were going to land on TBBITW’s head yesterday morning.
I think my favourite visitor here tho’ are the beautiful little Wallabies that hop in looking for food. Some of these have been hand-reared by the people here, and others are just cheeky wild ones. One little girl, who was hand reared, is just so cheeky, she will come up and place one tiny little paw on your lap while grabbing your hand with the other paw to try and wrest your food away from you. I had quite a battle with her the other day as she was determined to get into a cardboard box I had with me. In the evenings we are visited by a mum and Joey – just the most beautiful picture, mum sits and looks at us, and below (like a little mini-me) the Joey gazes at us from her pouch. We were told that they love carrots and tomatoes and we now have a special stock on hand for our visitors.
Evenings here are so balmy, we are able to sit outdoors gazing into the camp-fire. I have to say the idea of a fire is purely for visual enjoyment, as there is no way it is cold enough to need the warmth. Needless to say, the sky at night is the blackest velvet and the stars are just the brightest I have ever seen. Due to the extreme clarity of the air, the shooting stars are wonderfully visible and it is a wonderful spectacle just sitting out, nursing a glass of something nice and admiring the show.
Another favourite pastime in the evenings is taking a big strong torch down to the river, below the thermal pool and looking for Freshwater Crocodiles – we have seen one only, but we are told there are a few down there, one of which is quite a good size. When you shine your torch on the water big turtles the size of dinner plates swim to the surface to inspect the light. Quite amazing to watch. The only downside to this activity is that we have heard reports of people sighting some rather large Brown Snakes whilst walking down the track at night.
There is live music (Country and Western) here every night, a good little cafe during the day time and a restaurant at night. All in all, a delightful stop. I guess the fact that we came for 2 days and have extended to 9 says it all. I was lucky enough too, to celebrate a rather large birthday here, and I can honestly say I cannot imagine a nicer place in which to turn................!
There is so much more I could tell you, but I know I go on, and on, and on, etc. so I will call it quits now. We leave here on Saturday and head for Katherine. Stay well and celebrate life – Stephanie
MATARANKA HOMESTEAD CARAVAN PARK & RESORT
Well, I would be fibbing if I said it was a wonderful caravan park, the amenities are fairly ordinary and the water pressure is almost nonexistent thanks to a bad lime problem with the water/pipes. The sites are all dirt, as this place floods every summer and the grass/topsoil just keeps getting washed away. There is a discount if you stay 6 days, the 7th day is free. There is also a petrol discount for the local United Petrol Station (remember to ask for it!). These things are not explained when you book in, so you need to talk to them about it. On the up side, this is the closest park to the thermal pools and the wildlife here is exceptional – no pets tho’. Our personal experience has been wonderful and despite the negatives we strongly recommend the park.

THE DUKE AT ORLEANS

We phoned ahead to book our bay
As is our habit when we need to stay
At the next park around the bend
As on our merry way we wend
He roughly advised he’d only gravel
To offer us to break our travel

There were no sorries nor never minds
Just be quick - make up my mind
I said that we’d be pleased to take it
But his manner, I couldn’t shake it
I mentioned to Doug the attitude
Said I thought it seemed quite rude

I had to call the man again
This time he really screwed my brain
I asked if we would get the net
He treated me as if I was quite wet
Sat Nav he barked into my ear
It seems he thought I couldn’t hear

Things went from bad to really worse
I thought I actually heard him curse
When I answered in sad denial
That regular mobiles we had the while
No reception here he brusquely said
When I hung up my face was red

So it was with apprehension
And quite a bit of timid tension
That we towed our van that day
Into the park at Orleans Bay
We approached the desk with curiosity
To see the bloke with such velocity

Not the sort of bloke he sounded
He had a face that was quite rounded
Of diminutive stance and sturdy
Could have run the hurdy gurdy
At the circus side show ally
And whats more he seemed quite pally

As were always want to do
We asked the price for a week or two
No discounts here the smart reply
He obviously thought that we would try
His answer we thought was nimble
No matter if you’re black or white or brindle

We towed the van down to our spot
On the gravel parking lot
The bay was good and air was clean
Doug put out the washing machine
We sorted out our worldly goods
And Doug espied a pile of wood
Ah wood fires he said with glee
I wonder if the wood is free

We had our lunch and Doug said later
He would like to read the paper
So to the office he meandered
Passing thru the front verandah
When a notice he espied
Fifteen dollars for a fire

Bloody hell, he exploded
The prices here are frigging loaded
In he went with breath abated
At the counter he then waited
A paper he snorted when Doug asked
And he took him straight to task
We might get one, we might not,
And out here, that’s your bloomin’ lot

Well by now we had the feeling
And our senses were just reeling
The way this bloke would take take your loot
He could only be the Duke
So the Duke at Orleans Bay
He was named that sunny day

Of course in time we finally found
Just by chatting and hanging around
That the Duke was a beaut bloke
And did really enjoy a joke
He spoke the truth and told it true
And took your money right on cue.