THE DUKE AT ORLEANS

We phoned ahead to book our bay
As is our habit when we need to stay
At the next park around the bend
As on our merry way we wend
He roughly advised he’d only gravel
To offer us to break our travel

There were no sorries nor never minds
Just be quick - make up my mind
I said that we’d be pleased to take it
But his manner, I couldn’t shake it
I mentioned to Doug the attitude
Said I thought it seemed quite rude

I had to call the man again
This time he really screwed my brain
I asked if we would get the net
He treated me as if I was quite wet
Sat Nav he barked into my ear
It seems he thought I couldn’t hear

Things went from bad to really worse
I thought I actually heard him curse
When I answered in sad denial
That regular mobiles we had the while
No reception here he brusquely said
When I hung up my face was red

So it was with apprehension
And quite a bit of timid tension
That we towed our van that day
Into the park at Orleans Bay
We approached the desk with curiosity
To see the bloke with such velocity

Not the sort of bloke he sounded
He had a face that was quite rounded
Of diminutive stance and sturdy
Could have run the hurdy gurdy
At the circus side show ally
And whats more he seemed quite pally

As were always want to do
We asked the price for a week or two
No discounts here the smart reply
He obviously thought that we would try
His answer we thought was nimble
No matter if you’re black or white or brindle

We towed the van down to our spot
On the gravel parking lot
The bay was good and air was clean
Doug put out the washing machine
We sorted out our worldly goods
And Doug espied a pile of wood
Ah wood fires he said with glee
I wonder if the wood is free

We had our lunch and Doug said later
He would like to read the paper
So to the office he meandered
Passing thru the front verandah
When a notice he espied
Fifteen dollars for a fire

Bloody hell, he exploded
The prices here are frigging loaded
In he went with breath abated
At the counter he then waited
A paper he snorted when Doug asked
And he took him straight to task
We might get one, we might not,
And out here, that’s your bloomin’ lot

Well by now we had the feeling
And our senses were just reeling
The way this bloke would take take your loot
He could only be the Duke
So the Duke at Orleans Bay
He was named that sunny day

Of course in time we finally found
Just by chatting and hanging around
That the Duke was a beaut bloke
And did really enjoy a joke
He spoke the truth and told it true
And took your money right on cue.