Well, we have done it!! Settlement went thru' Friday last and we no longer have any permanent abode. I definitely do not recommend this exercise for the faint-hearted or for those whose relationships are at all shaky. The number of DAs (domestic arguments) over the past couple of weeks have been innumerable. Admittedly most of them have been caused by my somewhat volatile emotional state. Whether or not I like to admit it, I am very emotional over leaving my home. I had lived in that house for 23 years. I moved there with my two boys just as they were entering their teens. Financially, as a single mum, it was very tough, emotionally, living with two pubescent boys, one at least of whom was severelly emotionally scarred was fraught with all sorts of pitfalls. The term blood, sweat and tears seems to fit pretty well!
Against my sons' advice I had encouraged the wild birds to come to feast in my very wild garden and I am guilt ridden about deserting my feathered friends. The yard doubles as a burial ground for several beloved pets - of course, as far as I am concerned, they are all still with me and will join us on our journey, so that is not such a big issue. As far as the birds are concerned, I met with the new owners (who seemed to be around 12 years old) and they assured me they love the wild birds and will continue to encourage them, so I guess that will be OK too.
I suppose the over-riding emotion is guilt - guilt at leaving my very grown up boys, their wives and children behind and super guilt at deserting my elderly mother when she so obviously needs us.
This is a difficult subject, don't you think? My boys are very self sufficient, and have very capable wives, BUT there are complications - everyone works, and there are times when they need a baby-sitter outside of the out of school programs and day care groups etc.
That is when I become necessary. How will they cope when we are gone? My mum is 84 and quite independent, BUT I am an only child and there is nobody else to care for her. She certainly cannot rely on my sons! Whilst she is independent, we do see her each week and TBBITW does all the little things for her that she now finds so difficult. The young just don't realise how restricting old age is! Just simple things like changing light bulbs become immposible for someone who is quite frail.
OK the kids and their off-spring will cope somehow, after all, we all did, didn't we? Mum will be fine too - we have arranged for some very good friends to look in on her and to do the little things for her. That won't make up for all the outings we normally take her on of course and the weekly visits. She will miss me! On top of all of this, I will miss everyone. I love my boys to bits and of course all my various grandchildren. They are all beautiful and they are all so interesting now. I will miss mum, it's ironic that it is often in your own maturity that you come to know and love your mother so much more. Maybe it has something to do with having more time to digest all the things about her now. Anyway, as I said, I will miss them all!
In my defence, TBBITW no longer handles stress very well. A prolonged and harrowing legal battle with his previous employer regarding a "Workclaims" issue related to stress illness has taken its toll of my beautiful man. He used to be the coolest man around and never showed any reaction to stress whatsoever - now he reacts very badly to stessful situations and of course ladies, he can deftinately only do (or think about) one thing at a time. I guess that is standard for a mere male.
In order to balance things up a bit for mum, we are going to do a bit of work at her place before we boot off - in fairness too, quite a bit of 'our stuff'' has ended up at her place along with a good portion of my garden. I had not realised until a heart to heart this morning that TBBITW no longer feels able to slave, lift and toil as he used to, and I was committing him to work that he doesn't really want to do. We have agreed to employ someone to do the harder work and that seems to have eased the tension somewhat.
ANYWAY I know this seems to have nothing to do with travelling, but I just wanted to set the scene a little and give a little background info.
We are currently parked in a lovely caravan park in Forrestfield in WA, not far from my mother's house - this is so it will be easy to get to her place to do this work I have talked about. The caravan, "Jezabelle" is beautiful. For those in the know, she is a Supreme Territory, around 23 foot in the old language. She is an off-roader and has been specially reinforced when built, as the request of our friend and previous owner Russell. Just as a matter of interest, TBBITW and Russell are outlaws - that is they used to be married to sisters (not their own!!) and have now both parted company with those sisters - that makes them 'outlaws' doesn't it??
We have purchased a Land Cruiser VX 2006 model, which is still under new car warranty to pull our beautiful Jezabelle. The cruiser has been named Zed after a wizard in one of my favourite books - and he is truly a magical car!!
We did have a few hic-cups initially as the connections TBBITW had arranged for Zed didn't match with with the fittings on Jezabelle, most of those problems have now been sorted. As a result of this tho' we still have not towed the van - Russell towed her to the caravan park, so the first time we tow her will be when we are finally on our way on 2nd Jan.
There are still some issues with cameras and gas bayonettes, which will be sorted over the next few weeks. We have way too much 'stuff'' and we will be unloading a great deal of that over the next few weeks also - that is one of the side benefits of this little pre-leaving break that we have - it gives us a chance to work out just what we do and dont need and to re-adjust accordingly.
We will be working pretty much exclusively at mums this week, so I dont know when I will get another chance to update this - next time, I will be more specific about what we are doing and try to give a better description of Jezabelle, Zed and our plans.
In the meantime, stay well, love lots and keep smiling.
