TOO MANY COOKS AND NOT ENOUGH GNOMES

Go On - Paint Me - I Dare You!!

Well, good morning world! I write this missive from a cool, breezy and very overcast Swansea. Yes, we have finally left the Eagle’s Nest and made our way east. Before I regale you with tales of Swansea however, I feel it only right that we farewell Kingston – I just know you are all keen to hear the final episode of our stay there.
Our second stint at Kingston covered three pretty easy over weeks – having ticked all of our boxes there we simply wandered around the area enjoying the local atmosphere. One negative come positive was that our satellite system ceased working. DD is not sure what exactly the cause of the demise was. He did have it set up and working well but one of the resident possums knocked the whole thing over (or possibly the wind) and he just could not get it going again. He assumed eventually that as that system was slotted to cease operation this year, it had finally passed its ‘use by date’. Incidentally the only reason we had the system up and running there was so we could watch our beloved footy. Unlike WA, Tassie seems to show very little AFL on free to air telly. We have now missed two of our own games one of which we went down badly in – perhaps it was not a bad thing we couldn’t watch it!
Due to the death of our old system DD decided to purchase a new VAST system – this had been our plan for some time. Enthusiastically we ventured down to Hobart town and purchased a brand new VAST system and equally enthusiastically we drove back up the mountain to install the new system. I was sat at my laptop tapping away and was vaguely aware of DD coming and going, coming – going, coming – going,..................! Daisy was going ballistic as every time DD left the house, she would charge madly down to the other end of the house and then madly back again – one of her many little games. This wonderful activity seemed to go on for a very long time – poor old Daisy must have been exhausted. The gloomy look on DD’s face worsened – when I finally asked the inevitable question, it evolved that the brand new system worked no better than the old one – that is not at all. Oh dear!


Was It Her?

 Back down the mountain we went and the bloke at the shop tested our system and found that it worked perfectly well – we (he) can only conclude that the problem was our location and that the abundance of trees combined with a very large mountain must have blocked the signal. We are yet to test the system here and from the noises DD is making I rather think he is not going to go there. Our wonderful team play this Friday night we think and so the game should be broadcast on free to air – I don’t think the lad is prepared to try again just in case he finds he has lost his touch completely. Poor old DD – he has for some time been the ‘park expert’ on setting up satellite systems – the ‘go to’ bloke for all the other campers – it is not easy now to find that he may have lost his touch.

Guarding the Sat Dish (against possums)

One plus for me was that the VAST shop was directly opposite an art supply shop – marvellous! I went in to have a squiz and came out with a small set of inks – oh the joy! I had to leave my inks at home as they are just too difficult and heavy to carry with us. I immediately sat down to do a couple of quick inks and did produce one that was passable – not my best work, but not too shabby. I donated this one to Lee but sadly forgot to get DD to photograph it so cannot show it to you. The second ink I tried to do, is still in an incomplete state in my folder – the air was at the end simply too cold and wet and the ink just would not dry – no, not even with a hair dryer! I do now have a small supply of inks with me and so perhaps may at some time get the opportunity to finish the second one.
Inking and painting leads me to the gnomes. When Lee was away the first time, I tried to get into my painting and failed miserably – I had my paints out tho’ and was determined to paint something. I noticed that she had a few very sad looking gnomes lazing around the house and asked if I could restore them to their former glory – she was only too happy for me to do a ‘make-over’ on her little folk – ultimately joining the fun herself. We managed to turn a very sad little group into a dazzling bunch of happy characters. We enjoyed the experience so much that we sought out other wee folk to ‘fix’. We found that strangely, sad gnomes were in short supply. Lee’s friend Dave did contribute one very gloomy looking fellow (Doc) who had become separated from his head at some stage – he is now gloriously back intact and sporting brand new clothes. We have now become avid gnome spotters and look for the little men everywhere. We are even considering starting up our own small enterprise doing ‘make-overs’ on gnomes and expect to sport of sign of some sort, asking folk to ‘bring us their little folk’ – you never know, we could be onto something. The really funny thing was that after we had restored all Lee’s gnomes, I saw that at the Chelsea Flower Show this year, the little folk have been allowed back in after a one hundred year banishment. It seems that they were banished due to being considered too tacky – now why on earth would anyone think that? Even more curious was the fact that they had a competition of sorts, revolving around the painting and re-decorating of the gnomes – obviously I am very much in touch with world affairs on some subliminal level to have intuited all of this way down in Tasmania!


Before & During the Makeover



Typical Crows Supporter?!

Now, I’m sure that you would like to know how our heroine (Lee) fared on her trip across the Nullarbor with the daughter and the two ferals. Well, I have to tell you our girl and her girl did amazingly well. Before leaving Perth, they had to arrange for the beautiful daughter, Jeddah or Jeds for short, to leave work, sub-let her unit and get rid of a significant amount of accumulated ‘stuff’. As Jeddah had been unwell they had, initially at least, to take things sort of slowly. Lee is as I may have mentioned, more than slightly manic – this was a good thing this time as she managed to get Jeds organised in very short time indeed. As Jed’s health improved she put her own somewhat manic energy into the project and these two amazing women managed to accomplish all of this within 9 days!! The Real Estate people didn’t make it any easier for them (as is their want) and the antics of a couple of 6 months old kittens who were not supposed to be there made things even more challenging.

Doc (on the right) fully restored with his new mates.

Jeddah’s old 4 door 4wd ute had some work done on it during Lee’s first visit and was now loaded up with all Jed’s ‘stuff’ in preparation for the trip across. The ‘ferals’ were installed on the back seat in a very large share cage and our ladies were ready to rock and roll. They were all set up with camping gear just in case the ute decided to lie down and die somewhere. They managed to leave Perth around midday on the Friday and reached Southern Cross that evening. They stayed at some units behind the pub and found out very early in the piece that these places charge like wounded bulls for tucker. Deciding against eating a $40 steak for tea, they opted to share a garlic bread and some liquid libations and after a lively evening packed it in. The ferals were smuggled in and out of the units (and all the other units on the way across) and the girls hit the road again, early if not bright the next morning. The second night was at Balladonia where they made friends with a bunch of other travellers – by now the ladies had decided this on the road stuff was a bit of fun and were enjoying the experience. We spoke to them on the phone that night and were told that Jeds was off searching for a BBQ on which to cook their snags and that all was reasonably right with the world.
The next night I spoke to a slightly unenthusiastic Lee on the phone – they were at Eucla and as she spoke to me she could see one of the ferals hanging off the top of the curtains in their overnight unit. Hmmm, considering they were (the ferals) incognito this was not necessarily wonderful! At that stage Lee, who suffers from ‘nurses back’ was in some pain and they planned to spend the next day quietly enjoying the pleasures of Eucla before re-commencing their journey one day hence. Needless to say that didn’t happen – it seems the stress of trying to keep the ferals quiet in the unit was just too much to bear. You need to understand here that the two small cats were confined to their cage all and every day and so when they were released in the evenings it was time to play and play they did all bloody night!!! Lee was not getting much sleep – Jeds with the complacency of youth of course, was able to get some shut eye despite the antics of the ferals.
Play time for one of the kittens was somewhat curtailed the next morning when it fell into the toilet!! Jeddah was at the basin, doing her makeup and hair when she heard a strange and panicky sort of noise – one of the kittens, investigating the toilet bowl, as some cats tend to do, had overbalanced and fallen in – unable to get a purchase on the enamel bowl it was frantically doing circles inside the bowl trying to scrabble its way out. A wet and unhappy cat was finally extricated from the loo – for those of you with a lurid turn of mind, yes – the loo had been flushed previously and so it was not as bad as it could have been and no, Jeds did not try to flush the loo with the cat contained therein – I know a few of you blokes particularly would have been hard pressed not to push that button!!
The next night found the girls at Ceduna where they did stay for a couple of nights, attempting to get a bit of a rest. From Ceduna to Gawler they travelled and we finally received an SMS on Thursday at around midday advising us that they were booked on the Spirit that evening and were just leaving Gawler!!! We were somewhat perturbed and confused by this message, but it evolved that there had been a delay in the passage of the SMS which had been sent that morning.
So............it was at around 10.30 the next morning the sound of a motor roaring and horn blasting and the sight of a white and dusty ute racing up the mountain alerted me to the fact that any peace I may have been enjoying was about to be totally shattered! The trip across the Straight had been uneventful, albeit rough with 4 metre swell and Jeds suffering from sea-sickness. It seems a completely unmerciful mother kept directing her attention to the port holes where on level 8, the waves were crashing – unkind I would have thought!
So, mother, daughter and ferals all arrived home in one piece. The trusty ute which I think should be named The White Elephant did them proud. They really only had two problems, the first was of their own creation – they were approached by a trusty caravanner by the name of Eddy somewhere on the crossing – Eddy informed them they were dropping copious quantities of oil – it evolved that they had fallen into the trap, in their enthusiasm not to run out of oil, of over-filling the oil and it was predictably all running out. The wonderful bloke, Eddy, who said he used to be a mechanic, drained the oil for them and they were fine. This was probably their first encounter with one of ‘us’ – it is good to know that this bloke Eddy did the right thing and upheld the honour of all caravanners everywhere.

The only other real problem and it was not a serious one was that they were unable to attach their tarp sufficiently tight enough to stop it from bellowing out behind them in true parachute style. The parachute possibly added to their copious consumption of fuel a little as did the weight of all Jed’s stuff, but all in all it worked quite well.
So they were home! This was my first chance to really meet the beautiful daughter Jeddah – what a stunner; very much like her mother would have been at a similar age I suspect! Imagine a tall willowy blonde with incredible skin, a sparkling and effervescent personality and a slightly ethereal beauty – now you have Jeddah. Within 5 minutes of their arrival a purple car catapulted up the driveway at oh, say the speed of light, and out tumbled the ecstatic boyfriend straight into the outstretched arms of his darling. So sweet! So sweet too, the antics of the Darling Daisy when she spotted not only her mother but her sister getting out of the White Elephant – I missed the moment sadly, but the old girl nearly turned herself inside out getting out of Zed and into Jeddah’s arms.
The ferals were duly installed into Jeddah’s stand alone studio where Bugsy prowled watching them from outside. In fact, Bugs spent a considerable amount of time during the next couple of days, prowling outside of that window, inspecting the two young animals on the other side of the glass. I believe that the ferals have now been released from their captivity and one of them has latched onto poor old Daisy, following her everywhere – I doubt the old girl really wants to be step-mum to a young inquisitive puss, but it sounds like she is going to have no choice.

Welcoming Committee

The girls arrived Friday and as promised I ‘did’ dinner that night, after filling everyone up on party pies during the afternoon – needless to say in my own inimitable style, I over-fed everyone to some considerable extent. The menu? Marinated Lamb Shoulder served with good old French Onion Potatoes and a Special Stephanie Tossed Salad followed by a rather yummy but super rich Chocolate Brownie style desert with hot chocolate sauce, ice-cream and cream. Hmmm, all very nice but oh boy – way too much. Sometime during the meal, Lee mentioned that she intended to provide dinner the following evening. Great, that should be much better – surely Lee would be much more sensible than yours truly and cut back on the tucker a little. Ummm,..... well first came lunch – we both provided lunch and as the kids decided to bugger off on their own affairs, 3 grown up people who should have known better sat down to eat left over party pies and sausage rolls, hot chips, ham and pickles and soft white buns. Great! Then it was time for tea – Lee went to town and baked a large roast of pork with all the accompaniments and oodles of crunchy crackling. She served the roast with her own signature dish of crispy crunchy baked vegetables (which require seemingly hours of standing over a frypan turning the little darlings) – it was all absolutely delicious of course. Aaron did mention something during the meal about consuming so much the previous evening that his tummy didn’t feel normal until around 4 in the morning and yet here he was again (hogging all the crackling I might add) back on the tooth. We followed this amazing repast with the remainder of the chocolate brownie stuff and yes, we were stuffed – totally. Of course we had to wash it all down with a goodly quantity of good quality white!

Glorious Day From The Mountain

As I waddled out the next morning to share a morning cuppa with Lee – she once again extended the invitation to stay a little longer. I again declined her kind offer, but this time in some desperation. I pointed out to her, that should we stay any longer we would doubtless kill all of us by over provision of food. It was like duelling cooks! There is some compulsion in women of our generation to feed, feed, feed! I think it was the way we were brought up – we were all taught, by our own mothers usually, that one must make sure that everyone is stuffed with food – it was after all supposed to be the way to a man’s heart! We now know in a more enlightened world that it usually ends up instead, in stopping a man’s heart!
So my friends, we are gone from Kingston and their world is slowly returning to normal – mind you I doubt with those two zany females that it will ever really be normal – they would never be sooooo boring. We are back in our van and re-acquainting ourselves with caravan life. It is quite strange, as we have really been out of this lifestyle for around 6 weeks – the longest stretch since we started our first journey some 3 and a half years ago – it actually feels both odd and wonderful. We do enjoy our little space in Jezzy but we have in that short space of time forgotten, albeit temporarily, where things are and how things work. It is a strange and complex dance we do in the van keeping everything in its place whilst maintaining good relations with each other and some vestige of sanity.

Next time I will tell you all about Swansea and surrounds but until then be kind to each other and be proud of who you are – you are unique and wonderful! Steph.

No - I didn't paint this one!

I thought for a change, you might like a recipe or two, the first of these is my Special Salad which consists of nothing more that tossing washed baby cos and baby spinach leaves together with fetta, fried prosciutto, marinated stuffed olives, sun dried tomatoes, Spanish onion sliced ever so thinly and thin slivers of yellow capsicum. You don’t need to dress this salad as the olives and tomatoes do the job for you.

The following desert recipe was sourced from the Woolworths Good Taste magazine and having made it I can vouch for its rich delish taste.

CHOC-CARAMEL BROWNIE PUDDING & HOT FUDGE SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

• Melted butter to grease

• 200g pkt dark cooking chocolate, coarsely chopped

• 200g butter, chopped

• 3 eggs

• 2 egg yolks

• 279g (1 ¼ cups) caster sugar

• 115g (3/4 cup plain flour)

• 35g (1/3 cup) cocoa powder, sifted.

• 200g pkt Arnott’s Caramel Crowns (in the chocolate biscuit section)

• Vanilla Ice-cream, to serve

HOT FUDGE SAUCE

200g dark chocolate, finely chopped

250g (1 cup) thickened cream

METHOD

1. Preheat oven to 160c. Brush a 16 x 26cm base measurement slice pan with melted butter. Line with baking paper, allowing the sides to overhang.

2. Place the chocolate and butter in a large heatproof bowl over a saucepan half-filled with simmering water (making sure the bowl doesn’t touch the water). Stir with a metal spoon until melted and smooth. (GIRLS I SIMPLY MELTED THIS IN THE MICROWAVE!) Set aside to cool slightly. Transfer to a large bowl.

3. Whisk the eggs and egg yolks in a jug until combined. Add to the chocolate mixture and stir until combined. Stir in the sugar, flour and cocoa powder.

4. Pour half the mixture into the lined pan. Place the biscuits on top of the mixture, spacing evenly and pressing down slightly into the mixture. Pour over the remaining chocolate mixture and gently spread to cover the biscuits. Smooth the surface.

5. Bake for 40 minutes or until crumbs cling to a skewer inserted into the centre. Set aside to cool slightly.

6. To make the hot fudge sauce, place the chocolate and cream in a small saucepan over low heat. Cook stirring for 5 minutes until smooth.

7. Cut brownie into pieces –serve with ice-cream and hot fudge sauce.

FREEZING TIP

To freeze brownies, wrap in 2 layers of plastic wrap. Defrost at room temp and cook in the microwave for 30 secs or until warmed thru’.