Travelling with Mother

Amazing Florals

A soft bed for an old soldier



Incredible Contrasts




Travelling with Mother



While DD and I were travelling through our wonderful wild-flower country I was so incredibly impressed with the absolutely jaw dropping beauty I decided I would like to take mum on a brief road trip. Mum has pretty well lived out her life in a small geographic area which would probably cover about 10ks. She really is a person who needs the reassurance of being in her own space, but she also loves beauty and is responsible for instilling a love of nature in me.


Having said that, she recently expressed the belief that the hospital must have given her the wrong baby as my love of the open road is completely foreign to her. DD and I have tried to share some of our experiences with her by taking her on short road trips to Augusta, Walpole and Esperance. She enjoyed all these little sorties albeit also being glad to return home.


Anyway.....I came up with this marvellous idea while we were driving between Mullewa and Morowa and couldn’t wait to call her and give her the good news. I thought it would be lovely opportunity to have some quality Mother Daughter time together. Mother had often expressed disappointment at never having seen Kalbarri so I thought I would do a round trip incorporating Kalbarri.


What is it they say about good intentions? When I called mother to share this wonderful idea with her, before I could mention the subject she gave me a long and disturbing tale of how bad her eyes had been and that she was trying to see her Dr as they were so much worse than usual. She felt that the problem was different to the usual Macular Degeneration (MD) and thought that perhaps she had conjunctivitis or similar. Well, dramas! I explained my plan to her and she was both dismayed and thrilled at the prospect. There was an element of urgency to my plan as from what I could glean the wild-flower carpets would not be around for much longer and I really did want her to see them when they were at their best. After a bit of deliberation we decided that if she could not get in to see her Dr then she should get a cab to the local emergency department at Swan District Hospital. We decided that if she had the go ahead from the Dr we would leave on the first Thursday after our return home. Doing anything like this with Mother is difficult due to the fact that she ALWAYS has her hair done on Wednesday morning and everything has to be arranged around this absolute.


I was so disappointed when I thought that we might not be able to go through with the trip – I had all sorts of sentimental thoughts of a wonderful mother daughter bonding experience. Isn’t it amazing how your memory banks fail to function effectively sometimes?

Fields of Canola and Wheat

Well, Mother managed to get in to see a Dr and was given some antibiotic drops just in case there was an infection. The Dr could see nothing obvious wrong with her eyes. There was, according to mother some marginal improvement in her eyes and so we started to make arrangements for our journey. I had to laugh, when I first mentioned my plan to mum, she wanted to know where DD was going to stay – she had imagined that she and I would be taking the caravan! Now that really would be something! DD of course would be staying in the van. He really is Douglas Darling, as he fully supported my endeavours even though he realised he was putting himself in the slot for going up to Mum’s house twice daily to feed The Wombat. Mum’s dog Sparky, a very rotund Staffy needed not only to be fed twice daily, but of course also needed walking and a bit of company. People who are not into pets and dogs will have difficulty understanding that Sparky is mum’s only child at the moment and her mainstay, company and bed-warmer. I fully understand her concern for him.


The plan was to stay in motels and or apartments in Perenjori, Northampton and Kalbarri, leaving on the Thursday morning early and returning on Monday. A good plan!


Boy, the first thing I have to say is that during the next four days I came to understand and appreciate all the things that DD does for me (and for mum) as I became the surrogate ‘bloke’ and had to do all the carrying and toting for the two of us. Fortunately I had the foresight to veto mum’s big old suitcase and purchased a couple of cheap and cheerful carry bags for both of us. You would have laughed had you seen our matching pastel pink bags.

The famous wreath flower

Colour!

A couple of well disguised trouble-makers

Do you have any idea of just how much stuff you need to carry with you for such an enterprise. As we planned to eat out for just one meal a day I needed to carry sufficient tucker for breakfast and lunch. Silly girl! Of course as it turned out, we mostly supplied our own breakfast but not much else. Now those of you who are familiar with my ample figure would assume that I was the culprit with the over -supply of food. Especially I might add if you saw my diminutive mother. Not So.......during the days leading up to our departure I was bombarded with request s for certain types of biscuits and various other delicacies – mother seemed to think that we may perish from lack of nourishment on our journey. As I wanted this to be a special memory for her I went out of my way to provide all her favourites including I’m sorry to say, a bottle of Scotch (her request). She also requested some beer which fortunately I failed to provide. All the provisions required a chiller bag (for milk and the cheese mother habitually has for breakfast), a supply of her beloved bananas, butter and her favourite dark chocolate ginger).


As I had KO’d her suitcase, I suggested she just leave her clothes on hangers which I could drape over the back seat of the Cruiser. Of course I had my own stuff and I think that between us we could have provided the stock for a well provisioned Pharmacy! So, we had a total of at least 6 bags, my laptop, handbags and various clothes on hangers. Lovely! Off we went.


The first day was weather perfect as we made our way through Moora, Carnamah and on to Perenjori. Sadly for mum, her MD means that sparkling days like that one are somewhat difficult for her. Dark glasses are an absolute must. When we arrived in Perenjori we went straight out to view the flowers. There was rain forecast for the following day so I wanted her to see the carpets of flowers while the going was good. Blissfully, it was everything I had promised and she was duly amazed by the spectacle. I know that her eyesight is impaired because of the MD but her eyesight is adequate for her to enjoy most things still.

Just by the by, one of the things that was causing mother some stress and consternation was re-sitting her Driver’s Licence just before we left home. This was her main reason for being concerned about her eyes in fact. Amazingly, she passed! I don’t know how she managed to pass the eye test but once again the powers that be have decided that she can legally drive. She has vowed and declared to us however that she will only ever drive when absolutely compelled to do so. Thank goodness for that. I know it means a great deal to her, but truly, I don’t believe she should be driving. She has also vowed that she will not attempt to sit it again next year. Of course, she keeps telling me that doubtless she won’t still be around then. She also declares that if her eyesight continues to deteriorate she has no wish to remain here. I can understand that.


Anyway back to Perenjori. On the way to the best of the blossom we were lucky enough to spot a Mallee Fowl beside the road. I know I am pathetic, but it was my first Mallee Hen and I was stoked. Having seen the best of the flowers we went to book into a lovely little unit situated at the Perenjori CP. These are lovely little one bedroom units with all mod cons. Thankfully we managed to get one with two single beds. Mother seemed to think that we could share a double if necessary and was somewhat put out I think by my shuddered reaction to that suggestion. When I consider the matter, I am not sure why the thought repulses me the way it does, after all she is only little, doesn’t wet the bed and doesn’t snore anywhere nearly as loudly as DD, but .....................no!

Snow?

This is when I really began to appreciate and miss DD – there was a little walk and a few steps to manage with the luggage etc and what with being unfit and suffering very badly with my knee I found it quite exhausting to manage all the bits. Of course, you need to understand here that Mother Dear does absolutely nothing. This has very little to do with her age or supposed infirmity. Mother does Royal very well and simply expects that her loyal servants (namely me) will do everything. This does include seeing her safely up the stairs etc. Not that I mind that, after all she does need my help for these things. I think it is just she really does absolutely nothing when I am around. She would never consider making a cuppa for instance. When I am not around, she manages these little tasks quite well. Even when we go to see her, she never, but never makes me a cuppa. Everyone else yes, but not me. It is a very old habit of hers which goes right back to my childhood and I have to say, pees me of considerably.


I do understand that as she has to ‘do for herself’ these days it is just lovely to have someone else ‘do’ for her, but it could be tempered just a bit I feel. Before my father died, he ‘did everything’ for mum too, it has always been her way. It always amuses me when she complains of her own mother’s propensity for regal commands when she is just so much like her. I know DD does a great deal for me, but truly guys, it is not all a one way street. After all I do all the cooking etc and the darling man that he is, would not know where to find a can of baked beans on his own. I did make sure that I cooked all his meals before I left and gave adequate descriptions of where he would find all the necessary in my absence. Please, oh please tell me I am not like my mother!!!


During our drive to Perenjori we had stopped at a servo somewhere and bought sandwiches and chips for lunch. Chips are my mother’s very favourite food, and I have to confess to a partiality myself. Despite this, we decided to go to the local pub for tea. The food, I already knew from when DD and I had eaten there, was not marvellous, but the atmosphere was decidedly country and very pleasant. While we were at the pub Mother engaged in conversation with some fellow travellers. She discovered that the male partner was a volunteer driver for her neighbouring shire and they had an interesting if somewhat one -sided conversation. Mum had a beer with her meal and I had a white wine spritzer. After our meal we returned to the camp. Mother was both fascinated and appalled at the dress-code of the female caravanners. I (being one of those caravanners) am accustomed to the dress-code but mum just couldn’t get over how dowdy and unfeminine some of the campers appeared. She did however get an inside view to our lives and I think started to gain some perspective and appreciation of the lifestyle. During the course of the afternoon/evening I introduced mother to the joy of a coffee laced with a good dollop of scotch. Would that I had not introduced her to this little luxury – one that would turn around and bight me on the bum several days later!


I had a rather restless night sleeping across the room from mum. She however appeared to sleep fairly well. Not so I was informed in the morning when she declared that she had not slept at all. Hmmm, what then were those snores that emanated from her during the seeming hours when I could not achieve such somnolent bliss? Why then did she have no memory of me getting up early and preparing her breakfast while she still slumbered on? Mmm.


Sweeping views



Anyway, we breakfasted royally on all mum’s favourites. Fresh bananas, fresh dates, walnuts, brie and raisin toast drenched in real butter. What amazes me is that there is really nothing of her. The day dawned bleak and overcast and it had rained briefly during the night. I did the dishes, packed up our stuff, loaded the car, saw mother down the steps and into the Cruiser and we were off. I must tell you at this point of how we post mother into the car. The Cruiser is quite high off the ground, due not only to its design but also to the inflated air-bags under the rear suspension. I have to really stretch myself to get in and out. Mum is only little and as her legs have the habit of once in a blue moon giving way on her, I help her to find the hand-grips inside the car then when she is ready place my hands under her bum and give her a good posting into the car. I have seen many a person break into a broad grin watching our manoeuvres. I guess it looks all the more odd as mother has a distinctly royal appearance.


Despite the overcast and rainy weather mum really enjoyed our travels that day. The dim conditions were easier on her eyes and she liked the contrast from the previous day. She had never really experienced out-back storms and was amazed and thrilled by the events. The weather didn’t really make the driving very easy as we passed through constant little storms and the visibility was often very poor. We took all the back roads (and very nearly one wrong road that really would have taken us off the beaten track) and somehow ended up more or less where I had planned. For some reason I cannot convince DD that we need some new maps and whilst I had meant to get some myself before leaving home, had overlooked that minor problem and so had to do a little guesswork. I usually do all the navigating when DD and I are travelling, but had for once not been responsible for the route we had taken from Kalbarri to Mullewa and so was not too sure of my way there. I must have zigged when I should have zagged as instead of coming out just below Northampton we came out around 50ks above. Not a major problem.


I had decided that we would not stay in Northampton but continue on to Kalbarri that night, so we drove back southwards through the picturesque town of Northampton and onto the coast road leading into Kalbarri. I could have taken the inland route but wanted mum’s first impressions of our beloved Kalbarri to be via the ocean. The countryside along that route is very pretty and the Pink Lake that day was almost magenta in colour, really striking! We were amazed to see a sleek fox speed across the road ahead of us and also saw a large black feral cat. I know very well all the reasons why these creatures are abhorred and should not be here, but I cannot help but feel a pang of admiration and pity for them in their tough existence. Despite all my best intentions the weather was such that the visibility across the ocean leading into Kalbarri was very poor and all we had were misty images of the ocean.

Spider Orchids

Waves pounding the Bluff

Kalbarri across the river mouth

Best laid plans! I had thought that we would stay at the Kalbarri Hotel as recommended by DD. When I enquired there however it evolved that the only room available was really grotty being one of their ‘un-renovated’ rooms and it contained no toaster, no rails in the shower for mum and was basically basic. The girl there was lovely and very kindly warned me of the room and showed it to me just in case it met my needs. So, onwards and as it turned out, upwards! Egged on my Mother who was quite rightly for her, treating this as a once in a lifetime event, we looked for accommodation along the ocean/river front and finally found a lovely self-contained unit overlooking the break. Sadly for yours truly it was on the first floor! Wonderful! The lady who booked us in managed to get us some help getting our stuff up to the room and there were vague promises of help again when we were leaving, yeah, right!!


That was Friday afternoon latish. Once again we had found food at a servo in Mullewa (more chips!) and really did not feel that we could manage eating out that night. Moreover, eating out would have required me to walk and down and back up those steps again. My knee, after driving all day, jumping in and out of the Cruiser and lumping stuff up those stairs was really giving me curry, as they say. Needless to say, we decided that I should go and get some supplies from the local IGA and eat in that evening. Neither of us wanted a proper meal but thought we could eat something. As an oven was provided I thought some oven heated nibblies would suffice. And so they did, we dined royally on odds and sods washed down by more scotch laced coffee. I had also taken a cask of Cowboy with us and that also sustained me during the evenings. Don’t get the wrong idea here, we had one magic coffee each and then Mother would have maybe 2 glasses of scotch and something and I would have the equivalent in Cowboys. Very modest all things considered.


I must say Mum really did very well, after all she also had to climb those stairs – I really think she is far fitter than me, she just has trouble seeing where to put her feet. No small problem of course. Saturday morning dawned reasonably fine with brief squalls flitting over the area during the day. I took mum out and showed her those of the ocean cliffs which were either easily viewed from the car window or had small and easy walks. The wild-flowers alongside these walks were prolific and the day was lovely. We had lunch at Rosie’s overlooking the break (mum had her favourite fish and chips) and we took home some goodies for tea for that night and the next. On returning to the unit we rested and watched the break from the comfort of our unit. We had a tiny little balcony where we enjoyed our morning coffee but it was a little too windy later in the day. That night we ate sparingly but continued our now usual drinkies. Mother retired to her bed at around 8.30 leaving me to watch the movie on TV. Incidentally, she had the double bed in the bedroom with all the luxuries whilst I managed on a single bed in the main living area. She felt a bit guilty about this, but had declared when we first arrived that she needed ‘drawers’ next to her bed in which distribute all her gear. I didn’t really mind and was happy to have access to the telly after she went to bed. Once again she had suggested we share the bed. No, no, no...............


Sunday we once again started the day with coffee on our little balcony and then went forth to explore. We managed to get into the local homestead and mum was fascinated with the enterprise there. The lass who admitted us, was a German backpacker and mother engaged her in a long conversation. Mum always claims to hate people, but also claims an over-riding interest in others. This I would have to say is true. She was truly interested in what this girl was doing. The scenery into the homestead was majestic and made all the more so by the cloud shadows cast by the scudding clouds overhead. Vast red cliffs set against the green and gold of the spring bush were just amazing in the early morning light. From the homestead we drove up to the lookout enjoying more spectacular scenery along the drive.

Day's end



The Bluff



Mum was starting to lag a little but we went to the Rainbow Jungle to see all the beautiful parrots and the very pretty water gardens. After enjoying a coffee and muffin there we drove out along the shore again once again enjoying the cliffs and ocean. We were fortunate enough to have a big swell that day and so the surf was quite spectacular. We saw surfers cheating death along some of the breaks, being towed in by surf skis to surf the huge waves.


I had promised mum lunch at the pub while we were there and this was our last chance. As luck would have it there was a huge party going on at the local and so we were compelled to go around to the local tavern instead. Once again mother indulged in her favourite fish and chips. She joined me in a white wine spritzer and after a leisurely lunch we returned to the unit for a rest.


We duly rested and then enjoyed a scotched coffee and a couple of drinks as we had on previous evenings. Whales were cavorting just the other side of the break and whilst we couldn’t actually see them, we had a good view of the giant splashes that ensued. All was good until I had a phone call from my daughter-in-law. Perhaps it was the scotch, perhaps it was that I was by then pretty tired or perhaps it was just the law of averages that specified that Mother and I could not spend more than 3 days together without a little of our past catching up with us. Whatever it was, suddenly she was on the attack! It was completely out of the blue and took me by surprise. Sadly for mother where once sat a meek, mild and obedient child, now sits a fairly feisty female who will not be attacked in that manner. Heated words were spoken, I’ll save you the pain of what they were about, suffice to say my mother is eternally jealous, particularly where my time is concerned and I am defensive of those I love.


The evening deteriorated more when I was accused of belonging to the ‘selfish generation’! Oh dear, I cannot imagine many words set to inflame me more! Mum really has no idea of just how much we have put our lives on hold for her or just how much we have altered our lifestyle for her benefit. I of course, was incensed. It seems that part of her logic spanned around ‘spending the kids inheritance’ – it shows you how unreasonable she was being by that stage as she had obviously read this on a bumper sticker and decided to use it to her advantage. This is not like her at all. She is generally a highly intelligent individual who makes up her own mind about things. I guess we had been slightly at odds all the time too about politics. She had been particularly outspoken about her thoughts on all things political since we had left home and as we are almost diametrically opposed on those matters, I had been having difficulty not biting on some of her caustic comments.


The other issue was her language. You who know me well, know that I am capable of using some fairly colourful language myself when the moment calls for it and I am by no way a prude. BUT.... when your diminutive, regal , 86 year old mother insists on using the word F...ck at every possible opportunity, for some reason it grates. The amazing thing is that when DD is around she rarely exposes this side of her nature. The other unrelenting commentary from mother related to duty, a daughter’s duty to her mother that is. This infuriates me as I am not here for duty, but ironically despite all that has happened between us over the years, I do what I do because I love her. Unfortunately some old wounds were re-opened, probably on both sides of the line and we were a very prickly pair indeed when retiring for bed that evening.


Early Monday morning I woke and packed up all I could prior to breakfast and made a series of painful journeys up and down those bloody stairs to the car. By the time I woke Mother I was showered, breakfast was ready and she only needed to eat and shower before we could leave. Coffee on the balcony was a slightly cool affair, but as I cannot stand that sort of tension I managed to make amends and we were back on reasonable terms by the time I had her safely in the car.


The trip home was beautiful. We drove home via the Midlands road and the fitfully cloudy day provided us with stunning scenery. Mum particularly loves the deep blue cloud shadows which play across the landscape on these sorts of days. We stopped at the Cataby Roadhouse for lunch and then made our fairly leisurely way home.


Whilst mother did really enjoy her break and I know she was very appreciative, it was a shame that it had to be marred by our tiff on the Sunday night. She really is driven by some strange gremlins at times.


Since I dropped mother off on Monday afternoon two weeks ago we have had more dramas with my daughter in law being taken to hospital in an ambulance twice within a week. They are still not quite certain as to what caused her serious pain but it would seem to be related to both a blockage in the small intestine caused by scar tissue and some sort of tummy bug associated with her auto-immune system. All seems to be OK now, but this week she goes back to hospital to have some repair work done on her scars.


We have been offered and have accepted the chance to live at/caretake a 50 acre property in Bullsbrook. We move out there next Sunday so stay tuned for our country adventures.


In the meantime, BE NICE TO YOUR MOTHERS even when they are not nice to you......Steph.