KINGSTON CRITTERS

Hello, I’m Daisy Bates. I am a 12 year old black and white Border Collie and I’m beautiful – I am a really good girl, well............I’m usually a really good girl, it’s just that I hate that awful cat and even tho’ I try really hard, sometimes, I just can’t seem to help myself and I just have to have a taste! I try not to..., ah, well that is I try not to bite him when anyone is looking that is.

We, the awful cat and I, have been really missing our mum, Lee – she has gone away – I went in the big silver car with mum and her human friends, Doug and Steph and when we arrived at a big black space with lots of buildings and cars, mum climbed down out of the big silver car and I haven’t seen her since. It has been ages since she left and I have been so sad without her.

Oh, Doug and Steph have been looking after us OK, but it’s just not the same. They don’t seem to understand what I want when I bark at the TV – I just love the TV – I watch it every night and go absolutely ballistic when the DODO advertisements come on. Last night, S&D watched something about crocodiles and I just was so excited I nearly bit the TV – truly! I just jumped up and down yipping at those big crocs, I would love to get my teeth into one of them.

One day, when D&S could see that I was particularly sad and missing my mum, they put my favourite movie on the TV – BABE!!!!!!!!!!!................oh, wow.........that pig really gets me, but really, it’s that big hunk Max that really has me panting – don’t tell anyone tho’.

Thinking of Mum

D&S have tried really hard, they have taken me in the big silver car for some rides, and they talk to me lots and feed me really well. I am not allowed to sleep on their bed tho, and that rotten cat can – I am really peed off about it too, I can tell you. Steph usually lets me jump up on the bed for a little while in the morning so she can pet me and give me cuddles – the cat hates that and scrunches himself up into one corner of the bed and glares at me – one glorious morning just after mum had gone away, I was on the bed and the cat was doing his glare number on me, and before Steph knew what was happening, I lunged across the bed and bit him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh, glory, it was wonderful – trouble is, Steph was really cross with me (I didn’t know she liked the cat that much) and growled at me. If there is one thing I hate more than that cat, it is being in trouble – it took me days to get over it – even tho’ Steph was nice to me right away afterwards and gave me loads of pats and everything. After all is said and done, I am a good girl and thrive on praise.

I am really sorry I bit the cat!

After a couple of days, I was right as rain again but then I blotted my copybook again. You see, I have this little thing I do. Every evening when I see Steph preparing our meals, I rush into the bedroom and bite the cat – just to let him know that tea is ready you understand. I have to bite him ‘cause he is usually sound asleep and barking loudly in the house is frowned on – how else am I supposed to wake him? He doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, I think he would be upset if I missed waking him up and he missed out on his food.

Yesterday I had a big win – the cat was on the bed as usual and I was up there for my early morning cuddle – now I knew I wasn’t allowed to bite the bugger (‘scuse me) and Steph seemed to know what was on my mind cause she kept reminding me that I wasn’t allowed to “bite the cat”. Sod it! Then I had an epiphany (at least that’s what Steph called it) – the cat was at the end of the bed, I had to get off the bed somehow, why not walk all over the cat? Brilliant! What made it so very wonderful was that the bed is one of those old fashioned types with a timber frame – the cat was right at the end of the mattress and as I put my considerable weight down on his middle bits, he all but disappeared down the crack. You should have seen the look of panic on his face – it was priceless – it would even have been worth being growled at a little. Would you believe it tho’, when I glanced back to see if I was in trouble, Steph was laughing so hard she nearly fell out of the bed. Perhaps she doesn’t love that cat so much after all.

Me on the Bed, Cat on theFloor - Excellent!

I hope mum comes home soon – I am always allowed to sleep on her bed, even tho’ I have to climb a whole lot of stairs to get to her bedroom and my old bones don’t enjoy the climb much anymore. Of course, the cat gets to sleep with her too, but a girl has to put up with some strange bed-mates at times if she wants her comforts.

Nice to have had this chat with you – Daisy (or as Steph calls me, Crazy Daisy Bates).



Nice to Meet You - bye for now.


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Has that dog gone yet? Great, Hi’ya, I’m Bugsy Malone, a superb and magnificent Maine Coon cat – don’t know if you have heard about my type of cat, but we come from the United States of America – heard someone say that we are the best thing to come out of the States yet! I’m only two years old and until around 4 months ago I was a ‘kennel cat’. I have only been living with Lee for a short time and until I came to live here, I had never been outdoors. I am told that although I am quite large for a house cat, I won’t reach my full size until I am around 5 years old – by then I will be much larger than the average moggie and will have a magnificent and long ‘ruff’ to match the rest of my long and shaggy coat.

So, Lee has gone and left Daisy and me with these strangers, Steph & Doug – well that’s OK, they treat me pretty well – oh, OK they spoil me rotten and what’s wrong with that?

Yes, I am allowed to sleep on their bed and that noisy dog is not – that’s exactly how it should be – I am going to tell Lee when she gets back from wherever she has gone – that dog belongs on the floor! Last night, just to really pee the dog off, I jumped off the bed for just a little while and moved into her bed on the floor while she slept on the cold timber. A cat has to do these things every so often just to show who is really boss. Of course, after her little trick this morning, she will have to put up with a few more of my lessons before she is off the hook.

She really does make my heart pump – I have to be on the watch out for her all the time – I just never know when she is going to rush up sink those big white teeth into me. As for this morning, well, I thought my last days had come. There I was, staying out of her stupid way, shouldn’t have been on the bed in the first place, when suddenly she gave me a really crafty look. I thought I was pretty right, cause I had heard Steph tell her she wasn’t allowed to bite me – cool! So what was in that empty head? Far out!!! She just plain ole’ walked all over me – she is no light-weight either. Her back foot sunk right into my flank and pushed me right down into the very small space between the mattress and the end of the bed – not only did it really hurt, but it frightened the shi – sorry, the heck out of me! She had the audacity to try and pretend she didn’t do it on purpose too. What really hurt tho’ was that Steph, who I was sure adored me, laughed like mad – bloody woman. Showed her this morning, had a big swipe at her hand and made a very satisfactory scratch on her, just to remind her that I am a cat and of course, not to be laughed at under any circumstances.

Bed Games are the Best!

Steph is cool, she makes me these really great toys and then every morning she plays with me for at least a half hour – on the bed of course. The dog hates it! I just love it. I’m sorry that I have accidentally hurt Steph a few times, I get so carried away chasing the bird/toy that I forget to pull up and pull in – sometimes I get her instead of the toy. She seems to handle it OK – she’s pretty cool. She understands about cats – reckons she has had a few in her life but now loves the birds too much to have another cat – go figure!? She seems pretty besotted with me at the moment tho. I chase these toys of hers and love to rush across the bed tumbling off one side to leap back ferociously and scramble across and fall off the other side before leaping back and doing aerial acrobatics catching the toy. I have an amazing workout which Steph says is the idea, as I am too tired to chase the wrens and pademelons for a little while afterwards and am pretty content just to eat and sleep for most of the day. The only problem I have with Steph is that she will not play my games in the middle of the night. It’s just so frustrating, I have tried just about everything to get her interested – like sitting pretty much on her head, pulling her hair and poking! Poking is the best fun – I just find a spot where I can get my very large paws under the blankets and start poking – it works best when I find a bit of exposed skin and keep just the tip of a claw out – to make sure she wakes up. For some reason, it doesn’t seem to work very well – in fact, she seems to get a tad upset – no figuring some people.

I am not allowed out at night and have to be indoors by 4pm every afternoon. That is so I cannot chase the pademelons. Every so often one of the silly things is still wandering around during the day – I just love stalking them – hope to hell I never catch one tho’ – absolutely no idea what I would do with it!

Silly Pademelon

I mean seriously, what would I do with it?

Did I tell you I had a really bad accident just before Lee left? No? Oh, it was shocking. Lee has a great big fire thing in the lounge room – I am a bit nervous around it as I had never seen a fire until just a little while ago. This night, I was walking around the rock wall behind the fire thing and I could feel that there was a lot of warm air coming from the fire. What, I thought, to myself, must it feel like to sit on top of that thing – surely it would be really warm and comfortable on a cold night. Well, I wondered and as I wondered I kept walking around the top of the wall, and then suddenly, before anyone realised what I was doing, I jumped down from the wall, onto the top of the fire thing!!

OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a cat break the speed barrier? Well those people watching me that night have – I reckon my front paws hit that stove top for about one zillionth of a second – my back feet didn’t touch it at all – not sure how I managed that! When I hit the floor, I just kept on running and skidding on all the mats for a few minutes – I was in soooo much pain. I had burnt the pretty pink pads on my front paws – not too badly mind you, I was so quick, but bad enough to give me some grief for a few days. Steph was really kind and looked after me very well – basically tho’, being a cat I pretty much looked after myself. Steph wouldn’t let me out for a few days afterwards and now I am all good again and my pads are back to being their pink selves. Do you know, I don’t go anywhere near that fire thing anymore – I have a nice thick coat and I can cope without the fire thank you very much.

Hate The Fire, but Hate That Dog More

I guess I am looking forward to mum coming home, but I’m pretty happy with these people too – they have this great big white tin box that they climb into – I just love it, there is a bed in there too and you can lay on the bed and look out the windows and watch the birds – it’s brilliant. I have heard Steph say that they will have to shut me indoors when they leave just so I don’t stow away and go with them on their travels.

Well, it’s bin nice talking to you folks, but I can see that my tea is going to be ready soon and I have to reach a high place before that pesky dog comes along to give me my nightly reminder – why does she have to do that? Bloody annoying I can tell you. Bugsy Malone (alias Thugsy)

See ya' round