Stephanie's Words: FAMILY TIES

Mother 'Sharing' with a Friend

The Ferocious Daniel Off to Kindy!

Well, Happy New Year folks. It’s hard to believe we are already into the second month of the New Year. I hope and trust that everyone is well and safe and largely unaffected by all the extreme weather we have experienced in Australia over the past couple of months. I hope too that the ‘Silly Season’ left you sane and solvent. We have downsized the present -giving dramatically now that we are not generating income anymore. We can only hope that our general monetary caution will catch on within the family and become a trend. So far so good! Mind you DD (Douglas Darling) formerly known as TBBITW (The Best Bloke in the World) could perhaps take it a little less to heart where yours truly is concerned. Oh well, it could be worse, we could be living in one of the flood affected areas and all the pressies could have been washed down the proverbial drainpipe!

So.......to bring you up to date – my son Brett, his wife Nom and their two sons Daniel and Jack are all doing well. Nom is still recovering from her ordeal, but largely coming along quite well, Brett had his leave extended until the 17th Jan and was able to support Nom through the first few weeks at home and Jack is now more than twice his birth weight. He is quite a chubby little one in fact! Daniel turns 4 on the 7th Feb and we went to his birthday party yesterday. He continues to have a few behavioural issues but started Kindy this last week. Hopefully that combined with a few different parenting/disciplinary measures will sort out any bumps. He is such a bright kid; it would be a shame if he didn’t reach his potential as a result of being naughty. Of course, despite all attempts to the contrary, he is suffering the usual first burn’s anxiety/jealousy problems as a result of Jack’s arrival in his world.

I had my first turn at baby-sitting with Jack last week when Daniel had his first day at Kindergarten. I have to say I was a bit scared, not being used to such a tiny bub any more, but Jack and I sailed through the experience with ease and I now feel quite comfortable with him. He seems a placid little thing and seems to fade into the background far more than his brother did as a baby. Perhaps that is just how it is for the second one along these days.

My younger son Troy and his family are all doing well. I spent a delightful week looking after Chloe (8) and Cooper (6) during their Christmas holidays. Kids of those sorts of ages really are a delight. They are so interesting and so easily entertained at that age. Of course, I suppose if I saw more of them, I wouldn’t be such a novelty and perhaps they would be a little more fractious. They did wear me out tho’. I took them out to an amazing place called Chipmunks where we met up with Nom and the ever ferocious Daniel. I don’t think my ears will ever recover. For the uninitiated, this is one of those ‘for children only’ places where an enormous space has been simply filled with climbing, sliding and running mechanisms where kids just literally run riot. As you arrive the kids simply disappear into one of the cavernous mouths leering from the front of the colourful paraphernalia – it took me a little while to realise that Coops was directing me to look for his blue shirt – this is largely the only way you can keep an eye on the little darlings once they have bolted. You just watch for the blur of blue (or red or whatever) to race past on one of the several levels spread around the barn-like building. I had to laugh when I first heard some child call out the magic word ‘Nanny’ – around 20 frazzled older women looking much like myself did periscope type manoeuvres frantically trying to see which and from where their small charges called. Apart from around 10,000 kids at least and several dozen very good grandmothers the place contained a goodly portion of young mothers, all looking like they had just left primary school, dressed in an array of floor length sexy numbers, exposing unbelievable amounts of bare skin all lounging around drinking Lattes and exotic de-tox type juices and looking for all the world as tho’ they were enjoying an exotic spa experience. Obviously nature has devised some sort of audio-block-out device for young mothers who only seemed to be able to hear the gossip from their girlfriends and none of the manic screeching around them.

Now to Mother! We were planning on renting the other side of her duplex, but as best laid plans often do, this one turned to muck when the owner decided he is no longer going to rent the place out. He is instead going to sell it vacant. Poor bugger has had it on the market for the past 12 months and due to difficult tenants, poor marketing and a plunging real estate market has not been able to shift it. The agent who I had been dealing with did ask if we would be interested in buying the property but we just cannot see the logic in this idea. A) the market, we feel, has still a way to go down before it bottoms out and B) the duplex on that side is next to a Homes West house which is so obviously run down and semi derelict that it would definitely be a problem when it came time for us to sell. So, back to the drawing board. It is obvious to me (if not to DD) that mum needs help if she is to continue to live independently. The Caravan Park here is 9 ks from mums by road and so we have decided to stay here for the time being and for the foreseeable future. I have agreed with Mother (and I thought also with DD) that I would give Mum 3 days a week. Monday take her to her Library Group, Wednesday take her to have her hair done, pick up library books and shopping and Fridays to be a Mother and Daughter bonding day where I write down her life-story as she dictates it to me. On Fridays DD was going to do a weekly clean-up at Mum’s while we worked. Sometime also I need to help her out a bit with the house and ironing and such. Yes, I know, it is quite a bit of time and effort, but really, there are not too many desirable alternatives. The big thing here is to get Mother off the roads, as in all honesty I really don’t think she should still be driving. I am leaving her to drive to her fortnightly garden club as that is just around the corner from her home. DD also believes, and I agree, that we must leave her some effort and responsibility or she may throw in the towel prematurely. Whilst Mother is supremely independent on most fronts, she is more than happy to lean heavily on me as she deems it to be my duty to support her in every way. She is not always a joy to be with and does stretch my patience in many ways, but then of course, so does DD! In essence, I think I have become a nasty, impatient and crotchety old woman, finding fault with all those around me. I am making a conscious effort to overcome my nastier tendencies folks.

Now our decision to stay here in this CP for what will most likely be the next 12 months while I asses just how to deal with Mum has some problems. There is a ruling, Australia Wide as far as we know, that says itinerant travellers (us!!!) cannot stay in a caravan park continuously for more than 90 days. I really must explore this as we have encountered it several times before as well. The management here will not budge on that ruling at all. We have heard that other parks will and that it has something to do with a government ruling about GST not being chargeable after a 90 period. Now in itself this is not a problem as we will use it as an excuse to take 3 monthly, 4 week ‘Sanity Breaks’. In other words we will bugger off somewhere for around 4 weeks each time our 3 month period is up. The only drama is that the first 90 period is up on the 2nd March and I have a long awaited Dr’s appt on the 8th March. As I said the management here will not budge or attempt in any way to accommodate us for that week. I am not happy! Customer Service as you and I know it really seems to be defunct these days. Anyway we will either go, and stay in another metro CP for that week or I will once again defer my Dr’s appt and we will leave a week earlier than planned for our Sanity Break.

We have loosely planned 3 breaks for this year, the first being in Busselton in the South West where we will join the Supreme Owners Group for a week before moving on down to Augusta and surrounds for another few weeks. The second one will be early July and Kalbarri whilst the last one for the year hopefully will be Esperance around October. Augusta, Kalbarri and Esperance are all favourite haunts of ours and will present a lovely getaway for 2011. Not quite the same thing as being footloose and fancy free travelling around Tassie and the East Coast, but hey, it could be much, much worse.

Why am I calling these getaways ‘Sanity Breaks’, oh well, that’s because THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE GOING T BE – ALRIGHT!!!!! My dears, we have had more blues and spats here in the past 2 months than we have had in all of our eight years. Living in a caravan 24/7 whilst travelling and having fun is one thing, although even that can be a little testing, but 24/7 with Family Ties and not much fun is another thing altogether.

NEWEST GRANDPUPPY - SONNY!

CHLOE UNDECIDED!

COOPER & SONNY CHILLING!

The van has become DD’s office 24/7 and I have become the Annoying Interruption. I have also become the proverbial meat in the sanga, trying to do my dutiful thing for Mother and trying to Do The Right Thing by DD at the same time. It is testing. I am fortunate in so much as I have a couple of dear friends who I can go and have a cuppa with and let off a bit of steam and of course I have my writing and now of late, also my painting where I can disappear into my own space when I have the time.

The issues here are complex and I guess NFP but suffice to say Sanity Breaks are a necessity. Incidentally, perhaps I should add here that I do what I do for Mum not out of the DUTY she so fervently believes in, but out of Love for her. Sadly, I don’t think she will ever believe that is my motive. The good news is that from all of this I hope a readable book may be born dealing with the eternal problems and often hilarious dilemmas which are integral to Mother-Daughter relationship around the world. The frustrations and resentments sometimes resulting in biting retorts and nasty remarks to DD are also born of my unrelenting Love for him and the difficulty inherent in being caught between two people I care so deeply for. The added spice to all of this is the odd request from my much loved sons and their wives for a little grandmotherly help. The kids are the sugar! Even ferocious four year olds!

The other sugar for me suddenly, is painting. Through a convoluted series of events I found myself the owner of a fair size canvas and some Acrylic paints. I had never tried to really paint before, apart from a very brief afternoon spent with some water-colours and I was surprised at the results I was able to achieve with the acrylics. A have now completed 2 canvases and am keen to do more. My attempts are amateurish but not tooooooo bad, so hopefully there is some hope for me as a budding albeit ancient artist. DD has been super supportive and has managed to smile thru’ my purchases of an easel and more painting apparatus. Perhaps he really still is TBBITW!

Sorry about the photos, we will try to get some good Swan Valley photos taken to show you, but for now you are going to have to put up with some family photos and some shots of my new hobby. DD has a brand new You Beaut camera and is keen to get some practice so you should be in for a few treats in the not too distant future.

I won’t be back probably until we are on our first Sanity Break, so you won’t have to wade through another one of these for quite some time. Lots of Love for now, please be kind to each other – Steph.